3 upvotes, 2 direct replies (showing 2)
View submission: Is Buddhism skeptical of romantic relationships?
Yes, humans have a need to be social and to avoid loneliness. But I am not creating this situation - loneliness happens regardless, whether you are single or married (at least in half of marriages).
I am not shaping the circumstances; these are simply facts.
The point is not about avoidance. Of course, I don’t want to be lonely, and I want to feel loved. Those are almost self-evident desires. But that desire could be an artifact of our thinking - a belief that relationships come with significant advantages that, in reality, often don’t materialize (both intuitively and based on the experiences of billions of people).
Comment by Ok_Animal9961 at 04/02/2025 at 02:24 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Scholar here, Theravada Buddhism is actually the first place we see the new age concept of "Twin Flames" appear. Hold your pitchforks for but a moment.
In the Sumedha Jataka tales in the Pali Cannon, the Buddha to be, Sumedha (eventually becomes Siddhartha Gautama) was excited he got a prediction of future Buddha hood from Buddha dipamkara.
A lady gave him flowers to celebrate his prediction, but Sumedha rejected them saying he must focus on the Bodhisattva path, but Dipamkara interjected and told Sumedha to accept the flowers because every Bodhisattva has a counter part typically if the opposite sex they follow the bodhisattva path with.
In Theravada tradition, it is understood that the woman Sumedha accepted flowers from is Yasodhara, the Buddhas wife.
"In the Pāli Apadāna and Āgamas, Sumedha receives (or buys)[45] blue lotus flowers from a young brahmin girl called Sumittā; he later offers the flowers to Dīpankara Buddha, throwing them in the air.[46] Sumittā takes a vow that she may be reborn as the wife of Sumedha in a future life,[47] which is confirmed by a prediction by Dīpankara Buddha. Later, Sumittā is reborn as Yasodharā (Sanskrit: Yaśodharā), the wife of Prince Siddhattha who later becomes Gotama Buddha.[48][49] In some versions of the story, Yasodharā only gives the flowers to Sumedha on the condition that he join her in pledging to be reborn as a couple in future lives.[50][note 3]
Now, if you are in the Arahant path of course this wouldn't be the case, the Buddha calls you to abandon home and go forth into homelessness, that is clear.
However, within the Buddhavampsa which is the 15th book of the Khudakka Nikaya of the Sutra Pitaka, in the Pali Cannon, it lists out the requirements for bodhisattva. Yes they are different slightly than that of Mahayana, in that there is 10 perfections of Wisdom instead of 6 (however early prajnaparamitra sutras also talk of 10) in this Pitaka is these stories of Sumedha and his bodhisattva twin flame Yasodhara you could say. So the Theravada Bodhisattva path does have a lot of culture around a soul mate along the path you could say.
Anahn Mun from the Theravada Thai forest tradition also has an encounter with his bodhisattva soul mate who currently exists in a different realm than him and was upset he abandoned the bodhisattva path, and instead took the Arahant path and he speaks about the vows they took together and how he now being an Arahant still has compassion for her despite her feelings of abandonment.
Do with it as you will, just wanted to shed some light on a well known culture in Theravada.
Comment by Traveler108 at 03/02/2025 at 22:25 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Again, the point of Buddhism isn't to armour ourselves against possible suffering.