Comment by NotSoSensible13 on 28/01/2025 at 12:54 UTC

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View submission: Ladies in perfectly healthy & overall happy relationships, do you ever get random moments when you’re like “maybe this isn’t my person?”

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My therapist told me that it's very common for people to have those thoughts when they've had a lot of one-sided relationships, ie. relationships where you give everything and the other person gives little or nothing.

My marriage now is not one-sided at all, but my relationship with my mother was and all of my previous romantic relationships were too. After my first husband and I divorced, my therapist and I were discussing "getting back on the horse" and I said "I just don't want to. I don't feel any need at all to be with someone else. For the first time in my life I'm on my own and I'm actually happy. I feel so free."

She said I essentially had a form of caregiver exhaustion. I had spent so many years giving to the other people in my life that I had nothing left and that it could take a long time before I had any desire to seek out another relationship. She also said that if I never wanted to have another relationship, that was ok too.

ETA: I'm having those feelings again occasionally now mostly because of my son. Being a parent feels like the pinnacle of one-sided relationships.

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