11 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: What's something you never understood about the opposite gender?
They don't want to seem controlling or bitchy for being the one to make the decision all the time but they also don't want you to choose the wrong thing.
But I realize I may be reading this wrong, I'm reading it as a small decision like where to get dinner.
If this phrase is being used when you're asking if you should spend time with them or not, or some other thing that would show that you love them and enjoy time together with them, they're not going to force you to do the thing they want, they want you to want that yourself. For example, if every weekend you say "hey I was going to hang with my buddies all day, unless you want me to stay with you?" and they say "do whatever you want" it's because they don't want to be the nag that's forcing you to stay home if you'd rather hang with your friends, but they will be upset if you're always choosing to hang with your friends, because it feels like you don't want to spend time with her. If the **only way** you spend time with her is if she speaks up to tell you not to do what you actually want to do, she's always going to feel like your second choice, which feels shitty. So she tells you to do what you want, because you're your own person. But if "what you want" is never her, she's going to be upset.
Does that make sense? Not sure I'm understanding the context in the way you meant it.
Comment by Abject_Champion3966 at 08/03/2025 at 23:16 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This is such a good example of the dichotomy. It puts so much of the decision making onus on the woman. If we only hang out when I say I want to hang out… I’m gonna feel like you’re just going along rather than actually invested.