12 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: My boyfriend says I’m privileged
Two things can be true, without ruining the relationship: he had it rough, your life was/is more privileged than his. Still, it is a scale. He isn't Poor Pitiful Pearl, and you are not the Queen of England.
Most importantly, I think he wants some attention on the fact that he didn't get a fair shake. That's totally legit. I'd honor that hole in his heart, and try to fill it up with love whenever possible. AND THEN...he needs to do his part. He needs to be happy for you that your situation is good. He needs to be grateful for the times when he is included and loved. He needs to be reprimanded if he backslides into making you feel guilty for it...that's ridiculous; none of chose our parents.
Lastly, advice I didn't know about 'til my 50s (way too late): you can set a boundary around the time/days off thing, and stick to it. He will recoil at first, but stick to it, and he will get used to it. Need one day a week to yourself? Do it. Tell him it is for your health, and will make you a better girlfriend. Tell him it has nothing to do with him, you've just figured out that it works for you. That's enough. You only get this one life. You need healing days.
Comment by meltysoftboy at 06/02/2025 at 08:54 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A sane person in here? No fucking way holy shit