"All I'm saying, is why couldn't it have been kinetic munitions? We're in space, it's not like there's an absence of room to accelerate a god rod to mach Fuck You."
"We both know a mass driver of that scale is highly impractical."
"And a moon's weight of fissile material isn't?"
The metal flooring the technicians were huddled on shuddered and groaned, internal reaction system straining to compensate for the demands of low orbit. Across from them a, supposedly, thrice reinforced window bay looked out over a dusty planet. The pair made a nominal effort to keep their voices hushed. The skeletal size of the crew ensured no one else would wander these rundown halls.
"It's a statement maker. It reminds our enemies what happens if they refuse peaceful negotiations."
A klaxon alert echoed through the halls, the duo freezing in place as a monotone voice relayed the announcement, "Attention all crew; while the rodent infestation was dealt with last week please remain mindful of exposed wiring as your complete your work rota. We do not want a repeat of the medical wing."
"Peaceful? Peaceful? What's peaceful about having a nuke large enough to make a temporary star parked directly over your head?"
"That's exactly the point, the threat of it. You really think they want to do something that'll make us drop our payload?"
"What makes you we want to drop it? We blow the face off half the hemisphere, and what do you think happens to us here in low orbit?"
"We get a medal?"
"Yeah, a medal sent back to our families. If we're lucky, some molten chunk of rock takes our heads off before the fireworks really start."
"Statistically, that is unlikely to happen. Proper operating procedure dictates the captain initiate an emergency jump upon deployment."
"First of all, statistically? Second of all, an emergency jump to where‽ We are in low orbit! The only place we'll be jumping to is our guts all over witch space!"
"Well, it sounds like you better put in your work to make sure that Battlestation Crocket never has to deploy its arsenal."
"Oh I do. I wake up and pray every day that the captain is never given the opportunity to even contemplate deployment."
"Well then, your prayers have been answered. There's no contemplation involved. The payload automatically deploys upon combat alert. Did you even read any of the briefing material?"
"Hold on. Let me get this straight. Our entire lives are upon the automated systems to launch the biggest-"
"Actually not the biggest in active deployment."
"-a stupidly large nuclear device and determine a safe exit for an emergency jump?"
"Well, yes? Sort of."
"Sort of."
"The automated system will deploy the nuclear device upon combat alert. It still falls into command to plot a safe emergency jump out of orbit."
"I just want the record to show that-"
"Not a court but okay."
"-I hate it here."
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