A glossary of terms to describe the Smolnet from a sociology perspective.
“So I'm finally going to spend more time talking about a book that I feel like I've been referencing every-other-breath since I read it, and that's *Reclaiming Conversation* by Sherry Turkle.” – this is a good long read!
We need slower, deliberate, even more vulnerable forms of communication like these. We also need more small, private spaces online that we can use to communicate with groups that are smaller than "everyone one the internet" … What this means is that it's a small group of people that end up, well, feeling like people you're getting to know. It's more like joining a student club in college than it is like being on a social media site.
There’s an inherent tension there with such small groups: exclusionary principles many people tried to fight. Do you only let people join who fit your bubble? Do we practice radical inclusiveness? I think recent developments have shown that this is not desirable but I also feel I lack a good vocabulary to talk about the nuances: temporary openness for growth, random selection, fluctuations, process of exclusion (kicking), power structures, possibly informal ones, and so on. I’d love to see a short and sweet glossary of suggested terms.
All I know is that Google+ Circles and Facebook Lists are not what I’m looking for. The glossary should have entries on building trust, rituals of introduction, responsibility by proxy, some good old fashioned sociology terminology and a framework for describing processes.
And here we are.
Obviously we can all look stuff up on Wikipedia. The point is to have a short summary on this page, to give ideas succinct names, give a short descrption, maybe provide a link, and move on. Perhaps one day this could be a kind of pattern language.
Like all wiki-based pattern languages, please join in, fix and improve as you see fit.
The format I’m trying to use is the following:
Some assumptions are stated. Therefore, a prescription is made. This is what we currently think of as best practice. Followed by limitations or warnings and other considerations.
Building trust is like making friends. It involves mutual vulnerability. Therefore, first you talk about safe topics, like the weather, then work, and then you start with an opening into vulnerability. You talk about awkward situations at work, at home, mistakes that were made, emotional moments. You show your authentic self in small bits and the others reciprocate.
If you’re too quick, you’re crossing boundaries without an invitation. Intimacy without an invitation is creepy.
Joining involves an application: somebody is applying for membership somewhere. Therefore, make sure people know where and how to apply. Is it the chairperson of your association? Make sure the application is a first step on the way to build trust. Ask applicants to write a little something. Not too much, not too little.
Don’t use an anonymous form. If you do, you are going to spend more time and energy having to exclude people later.
People come and go, people are curious and people lose interest. Therefore, make sure there is a constant influx or your community stagnates as people leave and you’re left with nobody. Talk about your community outside of the community. Don’t self isolate. Be present: if you’re about Gemini, talk about it on the web; if you’re about Mastodon, mention it on Twitter. How else can people find you?
Don’t spam and avoid advertising. Organic word of mouth works best.