So I told you about my bizarro dream about braille textbooks. I had another weird dream this afternoon.
This afternoon, I dreamed that the Catholic Church canonized a living donkey as a saint. His name is Santísimo, which will be important later.
Anyhow, there's this event that supposedly takes place in certain parts of Mexico called a donkey show. If you haven't heard of it, spectators essentially pay to watch a woman be fucked by a donkey. The donkey show is said to be an urban legend. I read on some website that it was a myth conjured up by gringos to paint Mexicans in a bad light. I can believe that, given everything I know about the sad history of these kinds of ethnic myths. I knew a guy who told me that he actually saw a donkey show, but after researching this subject,, I'm extremely willing to believe that he was pulling my leg. Regardless of whether or not the donkey show exists in reality, it did in my dream.
The Pope made a proclamation. "If you want remittance of sins, you can get it by starring in a donkey show with Santísimo." Furthermore, your name will be recorded on a blockchain. For the non-geeks out there, that's basically an append-only ledger. Cryptocurrencies are also typically built on blockchains. Speaking of cryptocurrency, you don't just get forgiveness, you also get some free cryptocurrency! Contrary to what the Bible claimed, you really can serve both God and mammon!
A few hours after I woke, I did a web search for Santísimo. Apparently, in Spanish, it can be an adjective or a noun. When used as an adjective, it means "most holy", and when used as a noun, it means "holy sacrament." It is used to refer to Christ in the Eucharist.
Remember Mike Pence, the VP during the first Trump administration? That guy MAGA wanted to hang? Yeah, that guy.
Sometime before 2021, I dreamed that Mike Pence and I had a threesome with a chicken. An actual I-shit-you-not chicken: the kind that goes bok-bok-bok. We rubbed ourselves against this creature, having a race to see who finished fastest. I awoke traumatized.
Someone could write a decent sci-fi novel about this reinterpretation of a timeless classic that came from one of my twisted dreams. This dream was also from the 2018-2020 period.
The guy they called the "Wizard of Oz" was this dude with some advanced degrees in quantum physics. For some reason -- my dream didn't bother explaining this to me -- he took up a life of crime. While on the run from the law, our villain develops a device that will allow him to shift to an alternate reality. He uses it, and he shifts into the land of Oz. He goes to the Emerald City and sets himself up as a petty dictator, lording it over the little munchkins and whoever else he wants to lord it over. The guy was probably channeling his inner Trump when he had munchkin slave labor construct the "yellow brick road" out of golden bricks.
Then Dorothy shows up after the cyclone that sent her to Oz. She does her whole quest thing to find the Emerald City, just like in the book. She has no idea how bad things are there.
She seeks and is granted an audience with the "wizard", wherein she relates her whole sad story. Instead of giving her silver slippers or whatever, the "wizard" forces himself on her. She develops a deep and abiding hatred for him and begins to plot his destruction. At this point of the dream, the storyline becomes unclear. Dorothy designs some kind of bomb that, when thrown at a target, will send him back to his own reality. Maybe Mr. "Wizard" brought along all of his physics texts and a copy of his doctoral dissertation. Who knows. In any case, Dorothy is just as smart as he is and probably smarter.
She builds her bomb, and after setting it to go off and lobbing it at him, he disappears and returns to our reality. At this point, law enforcement catches up with him and he is punished for his crimes.
My dream never told me what happened to Dorothy, other than that she lived happily ever after.