Day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day to folks in the British Commonwealth, I called my cardiologist's office to report some issues I'd had during the previous week.
1. After riding a stationary bike for 20-30 minutes last Saturday the 21st, I started feeling like I was going to have a heart attack.
2. That I am perpetually fatigued. Simple things like doing the dishes, cooking, and carrying in a couple bags of groceries are leaving me exhausted.
So the receptionist dutifully notes down my issues. "We'll have our triage person get back to you." An hour or so later, I get a call from someone in scheduling. "Your doctor says you need to go to the hospital." Of course, I'm thinking this is complete and utter bullshit, because that day I was feeling just fine. Same for the day before. But we (GF and I) talked ourselves into going to the ER anyway.
They ran a bunch of tests on me. "Your heartrate is normal. Blood pressure is worryingly low." I didn't think to mention that I'd popped some xanax before heading to the ER; that might have explained the low BP. I did a bunch of sleeping. At some point, my girlfriend wakes me up. "They want to hold you for observation and do a bunch of tests on you, including a CT scan on your brain." And I'm like what the actual fuck? Brain? Whut?
The reasoning is that maybe my low blood pressure was due to a brain tumor. Maybe it is, but realize, I have a heart condition that is basically terminal. The last thing I care about is whether I have a brain tumor to go along with it. Metaphorically, suppose I was eating a slice of birthday cake made from rat faeces laden with hanta virus. Am I actually going to give a shit that the chef used some plutonium in the icing? Nope.
I'm a huge believer in science, though I think the obsession with medical testing is harmful to science. Hell, this is pretty much true of all data. We've got data. We have so much data that it's coming out of our ears and assholes. What we don't have enough of is logic, intuition, and critical thinking.
Worth mentioning that while I was in the ER, I got myself a referral to hospice, so I'm on hospice now. Hopefully I can live out the next months, years, weeks, days, or whatever I have left in some degree of comfort without playing this revolving door hospital game.