For the people out there who don't have a funny bone, this is satire. But I'd argue that satire is at its most ekscellent when it is grounded in some truth. The truth is that English orthography is an absolute disaster and Elon Musk is an objectively terrible person.

With Elon Musk making the Nazi salute to Trump and Trump's crowd, I think it's a mighty fine time to improve English orthography. Eliminate the letter "x". It is utterly useless, and all of its uses can be replaced with either the cluster "eks", "ks", or the letter "z". I.E., after removing x from the English language, the name Xerxes would be spelled Zerkses. Boxing Day would be Boksing Day, and X-ray would be Eks-ray.

Of course, now we have a little problem. The letter x is frequently used in mathematical equations. I'd suggest replacing it with χ, but that one is already used in statistics, so maybe it would cause some confusion. I wonder if צ would work? Someone with a better grasp of knowledge in the fields of mathematics and linguistics might suggest something better.

Another sticky problem: X-rated films. It's funny that this took so long to occur to me, since I'm one of these people who regularly has seks on the brain. Maybe the prudes at the MPAA or whoever operates these rating systems could use M for mature? Or F for ... fucking. Yeah I like that one better. Rated F for fucking! Rated LOF for Lots of Fucking!

You remember how Prince changed his name to that symbol, and everyone called him "the artist formerly known as Prince"? Because they couldn't pronounce the symbol. If we can eliminate the letter X from the English language, everyone might start doing as I do and referring to Musk's social media company as "the company formerly known as Twitter." Musk named one of his kids X (seems to be his favorite spawn, too), so with X disappeared from the language, it would henceforth be appropriate to refer to the kid as "Symbol-boy Musk".

All of this seems like a lot of work to troll one overgrown manchild , but it would be funny, and it would eliminate a nearly-useless consonant. A few years ago, I would have told you that q was the most useless consonant, but now I'm saying x.

This episode of Chris's blog has been brought to you by every letter in the motherfucking alphabet that isn't x.