Update on the baby situation… life has been hard. Lots of anxiety and exhaustion and fear, for both my fiancée and I.
Oh yeah, we got engaged which is awesome.
We are having trouble agreeing on when to get married and have the wedding. I want to be married before the baby is born and she wants to wait so she doesn’t feel like things are changing in her life faster than they already have to and so there is time to anticipate the wedding.
Many imperfect compromises have been devised. We’re yet to agree on a satisfactory one.\
4 months ago · 👍 kurekoui, n2qfd, danrl, bavarianbarbarian
🫂🫂🫂 · 4 months ago
Wishing you all the best for the baby and congratulations for the engagement!
There is nothing wrong with taking things one at a time.
It *is* a big scary change for your fiancée (for you too, but her body and entire being is affected) so be there to support her. She needs you to be on her side first and foremost.
Like others mentioned, a first small, private ceremony is a great way to relieve some of the pressure. · 4 months ago
ahh marriage... think that one song describes it the most: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c3g6tTYoxM · 4 months ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c3g6tTYoxM
we have a strict “no asshole” policy in our life, and that doesn’t stop for family. it is hard enough to build a strong marriage without assholes around, so why play that game in hard mode if you don’t have to? people have to earn being around us. it is not hard, just be a decent human being. and some are unable to meet this very low bar. funnily enough, that earned us some respect at times. not saying that what works for us must work for you guys. just a perspective on how to put deliberate distance towards people with negative impact and have them up-level their behavior to earn your consideration. · 4 months ago
we had a two part wedding. very tiny, 20 guests maybe, only closest family and friends. and then a big party some time out. in fact, the party has yet to come as covid made us cancel the venue and people were in lockdown. nothing wrong with smaller groups we found. we kept some folks out, they complained loudly but didn’t use that as a chance to self reflect and think why they might not have been seen as a great fit for such an intimate event. · 4 months ago
So here we picked a spring wedding so it would be a little out of season. We chose to have a judge marry us so no arguments about religion. We found a venue that we could afford IF we limited the guest list and stuck to our guns. We did what we could afford, and thus side stepped any sense of obligation from either family. You now what, it turned out great. My mother in law is an ashole, there's not pleasing her because in the end she wants to be that way. Were there off hand comments about this decision, yep but only from the known assholes so easy to write off. · 4 months ago
That really sucks. It seems like you are extremely overwhelmed right now from a lot of things at once, and that things aren't going as smoothly as it could be. I wish you the best! · 4 months ago
It doesn’t help that her mother has been making her own opinions known in a very forceful way. I wish she would stop treating us like children and give us some space to have our own decision making process. · 4 months ago