馃懡 krixano

I was sexually abused as a very little kid by 2 of my step-siblings, one of them male and the other female. And yet I don't hate all males or females. Why? Because I choose not to project what happened to me onto other people. I recognize that not everyone is the same as those people who hurt me.

This is likely my default overly-logical mode coming out, so I'm not going to pretend to try to understand how people can stereotype others based on how they've been hurt in the past. I recognize that it happens, and I would certainly be sympathetic to their hurtful experience, but I can never agree to the stereotyping.

2 years ago 路 馃憤 cobradile94

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5 Replies

馃懡 bavarianbarbarian

@axion, agree, somethings you can forget, but never forgive... in germany, except the nazi jokes, we had a kind of pre school examinations and the doctor checked you in every weird places.. as a premature birth i suffered from

foreskin constriction and several other illnesses, that is no fun at all. 路 2 years ago

馃懡 axion

@nristen: not to put words in krixano's mouth, but they never mentioned anything about forgiving the ones who did this to them. Some things are unforgivable. period. 路 2 years ago

馃懡 nristen

I admire your mature outlook and reaction choice. We have to forgive in order to be forgiven ourselves... and sometimes that is hardwork to choose to forgive someone even when the feelings isn't there. 路 2 years ago

馃懡 krixano

@degrowther2 Thanks. I don't want to focus much on the sexual abuse, because while I don't project it on other people, it still brings up other problems that I have with that experience.

Hopefully, though, my main message gets through, and that it's not so... harsh. A lot of the stereotyping and hate in the world seems to be from people who have had bad experienes with, for example, rape, violence, wars from countries, and it leads people to associate the hurt with a group of people - to stereotype. I'm all too aware of this being an American descendent of German ancestors (with a German last name) and having legitimate jokes about being a Nazi towards me. 路 2 years ago

馃懡 degrowther2

I'm sorry that you had to live through that, and I'm glad that you've been able to work through it in a way that still lets you trust people. 路 2 years ago