On change

When I was younger I used to not understand why people didn't like change. I think I finally understand them now. As a kid growing up in an immigrant family without a lot of resources but with opportunities, I had every reason to think that the future will be definitively better than the past. Change is how I get to that future and thus the better place. This is why I welcomed and actively pursued change.

Many years later, I have gotten to a better place. I'm satisfied with my life and I feel extremely lucky to have everything I have in both work and home life. While I can't say that this is the best my life could be, change now represents uncertainty. I am no longer certain that my life will get substantially better from here. In fact, I suspect that the best days of my life are in the past and the worst days may be in the future. Change is once again how I get to that future. Some levels of my consciousness now fears change.

So maybe I now understand a little bit more on why people fear change, and on why people reminisce over the "golden days". In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm living my "golden days" right now, and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to enjoy that.

Even though this feels overly pessimistic, I'm trying to come to term with it as much as I can. Change is a natural course of life and time. I better get used to it, and look forward to it. Otherwise I risk wasting the time I'm gifted now.

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