Hello;
I hate the introductory part of class. There. I said it. Right off the bat. And I kind of feel better about myself for doing it.
As you might guess from that opening, I’m not much on proper sentence structure either…
…wouldn’t my elementary grammar teachers be proud?
But, seriously…
My name is Jeremiah—but I go by Jeremy to close friends, sometimes Palmer to a rare few, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been called a dozen other more colorful names by my ex-wife. And, yeah, I guess I’ll go ahead and delve into that painful subject, as it is a part of my life—whether I’d like it to be or not.
I’m a divorced, single father of three, struggling to provide as best as I can—which is way less than I’d like to; fortunately, the children recognize my struggles, and they handle it remarkably well, considering the hell that it is.
We’d been a family of five up through Easter of 2014—up until that day when our wife and mother decided to leave us for an old male friend of hers that had just returned to the area the day prior. Yes, I’m still a bit bitter about it, and likely will be for years to come. The only good outcome from that mess was her realization that the children would be much better off at home with me than with her and her new beau—and soon to be fourth ex-husband. I suppose I do get a slight feeling of schadenfruede from that last point… But…
[…I could continue to write at great length on that mess—and how wonderful it would be to vent all of that anger and frustration!—but, really, it’d be rather pointless to do so…]
A few months ago I decided to re-enroll in school, since I’ve not had much success in finding better employment. Presently, I’m working on a part-time basis at a local radio station—WCYN. I was originally hired last year to operate the board during remote broadcasts of a neighboring county’s high school sports events on the FM; since that time I’ve taken on the duties of Saturday and Sunday morning productions on both the AM and FM stations. I often fill-in for some of our local sports remotes when the regular guy isn’t available to run the board—I’m kind of hoping that I might just take his spot, but I digress.
…that’s something else about me—I frequently go off rail and give a little side-note or commentary whenever I am speaking in a more personal manner. I’ve been complimented on this odd ability to briefly leave topic and circle right ‘round to the beginning again; oft-times I’ve left people bewildered as to how I can keep separate, yet connected thoughts straight… but, again, I digress—and in a digression, no less!
My interests in Emergency Management stem from my father—our county’s current EM Director. His involvement in EM can trace back to some of his childhood interests—a few of which may come from his father before him. My grandfather had been a fireman at one point in his life—though I sadly must admit that I’m not aware of his position within the local department; I have, however, seen a picture of him posed on a knee in one of the bays, dressed in the old blue work uniform, holding a rather large teddy for a Toys-for-Tots drive. As for my father, though, I believe it was a combination of his dad’s service interests and an interest in CB radio that helped guide him. My dad eventually became involved in a long since defunct REACT team that had been very active in assisting with Civil Defense efforts in the community. At some point in the ‘90s that REACT’s local president was tapped to become the next Disaster and Emergency Services coordinator—a few short years before DES was rebranded and reorganized as EM. The DES coordinator ended up roping my father into helping him rewrite the EOP, and perform a lot of the clerical duties that were becoming more and more “tech” dependant—and it was here that I started to become pulled into helping a bit.
In the late ‘90s—circa 1997, I think—my dad asked me if I could help figure out how to network a couple of computers, set up a Juno email account, and manage a GeoCities page. Eventually, that background work led to my becoming a deputy with the Cynthiana - Harrison County Emergency Management Agency in the latter part of August ’01. I was very “active” through the first couple of years, up until I was married and my son born in 2004. In the years that followed, my role became less of an active “agent”—lack of a better word—to a digital face in the background while I filled greater duties at home as a house-husband. I ended up establishing myself as the guy charged with creating and maintaining an online presence and interacting with the public on social media—long before that even became a “thing.” Yes, our local agency’s Twitter account and Facebook page pre-dates many of Kentucky’s counties’ accounts/pages—and even KYEM’s!
Unfortunately, turmoil at home caused issue with my abilities to maintain things as regularly as I believed I should, and eventually became a repeated point of argument in my marriage; truth be told, so did earlier attempts at schooling here at APU—which is a grand portion of the reason why I am currently enrolled in this class alone for this eight week period. I am on academic probation thanks to numerous failed attempts at schooling during those final years of my marriage.
Following my divorce, I eventually wrote the most difficult email I’d ever written in my life—I resigned from my duties and involvement from the local EM. This was an especially difficult thing to do, where the person I had to notify was now my father—he’d become the director about a year or two after I had been sworn in as a deputy. Though the message was professional and dry, a hidden subtext that only him and I could see was present; “Dear Dad, I’m a f***-up, and can’t do it anymore…”
Sadder still—to me, anyway, as I know the following I’d built—the agency’s domain and hosting were allowed to expire, and posts to social media are few and far between—and less than timely.
Meanwhile, I’ve continued to hang on as best I can in giving the children as close to a “normal” life as possible, while their mother flits in and out of their lives when it’s convenient for her. Back to the point where I say this is hell.
I’m a thirty-five year-old single (divorced) father, with kids at home, no real job to speak of, an incomplete college education, no “real” experience outside that of being a stay at home dad, and I’ve a crazy ex- that only contributes when it’s convenient. It’s hell.
…but that thing of being a dad—and being the custodial parent on top of everything…
…yeah; there’s still a little slice of heaven in my life.
So, for now, I’m praying that I can find a way to better support the kids. I’m also praying that I might find some better sense of the turns life has taken us, and looking forward to the day that someone will join us on this journey. (Ha!—try dating on top of all this; it’s impossible!)
But, I guess that’s about it for now… If for some reason you’d like to know more, you can find almost anything by google-ing my regular Internet handle—which is also my Ham call: KG4VMA. You’ll find me almost everywhere—though I’m not as active online as I’d once been. You might even find a few old assignments for other classes posted to my blog, if you really get to digging. For those that are really daring and bored, you can try and message me and strike up a conversation, though I can’t guarantee an immediate reply—I’m going to be begging, borrowing and stealing Internet access for another month or so. Well, not stealing—everyone around has finally wised up and is using good wireless encryption these days…
…and if by some miracle you’re a cute girl that’s looking to find a broken dad… lol.
Anyway, nice to meet you guys. Hope we have some fun in this class.
Tags: #American Public University, #APUS, #college, #EDMG340, #school