> Second part sounds steamy
I guess it does on its own. But the author remembers there was additional context unaddressed in the text, namely being a mix of shy and borderline certain I'd never attain unto (for me) most-desired-gender attention
So, yes... great visuals... but they quickly morphed into degrees of "relationship possibilities despair"....
You will one day jump that hurdle, and gain that affection and intimacy, my friend. Soon, it will become steamy, yet! :P