butter and sugar first

then milk and eggs

then dry ingredients

into the oven

i want someone to remember that we woke up crying for different reasons and had sex and made cake about it.

i want someone to remember that i'm quiet inside and loud on the outside

(but i'm the only one allowed to say i'm dusted in cocoa and mixed with condensed milk)

i might change my name

(again)

soon,

something browner than this.

i might flavor how i'm met

to match the blood in my gums

that i spit out in the morning when i brush,

cardamom and clove,

five spice and rendered fat

i want someone to remember i am experimental

a variation on a recipe

for mixed-baby hair