2015-12-10 09:28:30
Dec 9th 2015, 14:04 by B.R.
ONE of Gulliver's favourite tales of the excesses of modern footballers was that of Jermaine Pennant, an average but lavishly remunerated player at Real Zaragoza in Spain. Mr Pennant once drove his expensive Porsche to a station to catch a train. He then promptly forgot that he owned said vehicle and left it in the car park for five months. When he was finally traced, he reportedly said he had no recollection that it belonged to him. It is easy to scoff, but anyone who has owned an old banger will also have felt the temptation to park it on a street quietly and walk away forever, rather than go through the rigamarole of declaring it off the road. (A temptation, needless to say, we should all resist.)
Such outlandish behaviour should not be possible with a jumbo jet. Yet apparently it is. The South China Morning Post reports that Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) in Malaysia has just come across three ancient 747s that have been sitting on its tarmac for over a year. It says it has no idea who left them there. According to the Post:
Malaysia Airports Holdings Bhd. placed an advertisement Monday in the nation s best-selling English daily asking for the untraceable owner of three Boeing Co. 747-200F planes to come and collect them. The planes are parked at three separate bays at KLIA in Sepang, outside the Malaysian capital, the Star newspaper ad showed.
If you fail to collect the aircraft within 14 days of the date of this notice, we reserve the right to sell or otherwise dispose of the aircraft pursuant to the Civil Aviation Regulations 1996 and use the money raised to set off any expenses and debt due to us under the said regulations, the notice read.
The planes, the models of which have been out of production since 1991, are probably not worth much. Few airlines buy jumbos any more. Last year Boeing and Airbus sold not a single 747 or A380. Instead, it is the more fuel-efficient twin-engine widebodies, such as the 777, that are taking their place. A serviceable, ex-Lufthansa 747 built in 1985 is currently on sale for $3.5m. By the looks of the Malaysian planes (pictured), they are some way short of air-worthy. Quite possibly, the owners decided that the cost of the accrued parking fees would be more than they would expect to sell for.
More usually, when such planes come to the end of their useful lives, they are stored in giant aircraft graveyards in the desert, such as Victorville in California. These can hold thousands of jets which are cannibalised for spare parts and then often scrapped.
What is most surprising about this story, other than the chutzpah of the 747s' owner, is that KLIA can't trace the operators. All aircraft are supposed to be logged with a national authority, so one wouldn't think it could be that hard. The Post says that the airport has contacted a so-called owner without response. Malaysians now know where to head next time they have an old banger to dispose of.