I appreciate the thoughts. In particular, the bit about embracing a broader sense of connection (especially as part of a spiritual practice) is excellent. Of course, I'm still searching for what my version of this practice looks like. My brain gets bored very easily, meaning that more meditative practices are often not a good fit. But that too can mean a lot of different things.
it took me something like a decade to introspect enough to connect all the dots about what i feel about the things i keep returning to in life; something changed one day and suddenly i found myself having revelations every other week about things i already knew but had never acknowledged.
i hope you figure out whatever you need to figure out to be content, and i'm almost certain that it'll look vastly different to the practices other folks trust.