yesterday I drank. bourbon-based cocktail. wine. beer (Stout).
i drank around 10 PM and later, back in bed,
I felt tortured while trying to fall asleep. i was
still in agony around 2 AM.
it seems that alcohol has always been unpleasant for me;
the reason why I perceived pleasure is a flawed perception.
the Buddha has compared sensual pleasure to a burning grass
torch with the wind fanning it into a bigger blaze. does not a man
have to let go of that torch if he wishes to avoid great pain?
there is great danger, great despair, great suffering in
sensual pleasure.
my failure to perceive danger is leading me into greater
agony, everywhere I turn, unless I change my deep-rooted mental habits.
i have to work hard and arouse ardour and apply exertion
and make effort. i have to bring about the conditions for
a future with more bliss and less sorrow. may the God of the Jews,
Muslims and Christians help me with my lack of wisdom; it is
very difficult to make
the great discernment between truth and falsehood.
if caffeine and alcohol could fix any problem by their very existence -
and consumption -
there would have been no need to ingest any more caffeine and alcohol,
after these many centuries, if not millenia.
hence they fall into the category of useless pleasures.
remember what Marcus Aurelius said in Meditations, Book Eight, Number 10:
"regret is what we feel when we blame ourselves for failing to
take advantage of a useful opportunity. now, whatever is good is
necessarily useful and of pressing concern to every good man, but
no such man feels any regret for failing to indulge in a pleasure.
pleasure, therefore, is neither useful nor good."
I have been drinking a local version of coffee, named kopi.
it is cheaper than specialty coffee.
these days, I make sure there is a toilet nearby, before I drink
coffee/kopi.