The sky is cloudy and rain is falling through the chilly air. While they were out smoking this morning, a roommate remarked "It's very British out today."
Well, it's finally time. My worst semester is coming to an end and i'm super excited to leave it behind. I learned a lot about myself and my study habits over this semester, and I hope writing about it here could lead someone else to learning them in a less painful way.
It literally just doesn't work for me. If I'm in my couch, in my bed, or even at the desk in my room my brain activates relaxation mode and I slip into whatever highly-engineered distraction software my mind thinks of first. If I want something done, I have to "go to work".
Work as a place doesn't have to be a literal office, though. In highschool I got a lot of mileage out of doing my assigned readings at one of four local coffee shops. When I worked and didn't pay rent, buying some coffee or an overpriced sandwich every other hour was a small price to pay to have a study spcae outside of my house. Now that I'm on my own though, I've learned that what I really wanted was a library.
Libraries fucking rule for a number of reasons, one of which being that they are a free alternative to expensive coffee shops for studying and working away from home. Back in Fort Wayne, the good ole' Allen County Public Library always had my back. The main branch had meeting rooms, computer labs, seats with outlets, great views, and even a little Dunkin' Donuts attatched near the back entrance. I wish I had used it more when I had the chance.
Now in Bloomington during the time of plague, we have Univsity Libaries that you can't use since campus closed down, a small little city library without enough seating, and a Student Union building that just recently closed for remodelling. Over the weekend I need to find a spot to do these finals but I don't know where I could possibly use.
During one time of desperation this semester I decided to give the study drug Adderall a try. I had been offered it before, but figured that a potential drug addiction wasn't worth the possibility of bumping a couple of Freshman year B's up to A's. This time was a very different story. I planned my first encounter with the drug meticulously. I would wake up one Saturday morning, take the bus to the Indiana Memorial Union to study, and before I started I would eat a meal and take the pill.
The night before the day arrived with a warning from another student trying the same stunt. He tried Adderall for the first time at our place, and stayed a bit too long. Instead of getting wrapped up in studying he got wrapped up in learning to solve a roommate's Rubix Cube the whole day. I desperately needed my high to be spent entirely on my work.
The day came, and I got a hold of the pill before making my way to the bus stop. Anxious about holding a pill that was technically illegal for me to posses, I swallowed it at the bus stop. The trip to the Memorial Union was then met with a break at Chipolte for the energy I would need and a stop by the IMU vending machine for a bottle of water. Around thirty minutes after I began studying, a burst of energy hit me hard and propelled me through the day, distracted only by worried google searches into the inner workings and effects of the drug. By the end of the day, I had completed two large packets of overdue homework and felt happy and ready to continue the next day.
I came back home a little too eager to take Adderall again, which didn't worry me as much as it worried my roommates who had previously struggled with addiction to prescribed drugs including Adderall. I took their advice as people with experience and decided that this would only be a one time thing, never touching it again.
What I didn't know was how far my stimulant tollerance went up. The day after, I slammed two Mean Bean flavored Java Monster energy drinks with a combined total 400mg of caffeine and felt about as energized as I used to be after three mugs of coffee. That can't be good.
I'm not entirely sure how to end this section, mostly because I'm not convinced it's reached the actual end. If anything new comes up as far as caffeine use, I'll be sure to include it. For now, all I have to say is unless a doctor prescribes it to you, don't mess with Adderall. Whatever you want to accomplish with that can be gotten with caffeine.
Another thing I realized is that I find it so much harder to wake up early when I'm tangled up in bed with the love of my life. Not only do I have to succeed the dexterity challenge of unwrapping the mess of apendages that we created over the past eight hours, I have to also convince myself that life will be better if I sneak out and go to study instead of bring him in closer and submit to the warmth and comfort of the bed. This combination of physical and mental challenge has bested me several times before but I'm certain that I can overcome it soon.
I guess I'll get back to studying now, just felt like dropping another post onto the internet and let off some steam before the end of this mess of a semester.
If this post affected you in any way, or if you just want to talk to someone, feel free to shoot me an email at giantnoah@gmail.com and I'll respond whenever I get the chance. Anything and anyone is welcome.
Thanks for reading everyone, good luck to any other students taking finals soon.
-- Noah