In reference to preppers, I sometimes visit online prepper communities out of pure curiosity (I try not to participate since some of the conversations can be extremist in nature) and something not frequently brought up is the idea of creating community and trust among neighbors. I think many, who fear some sort of apocalyptic future or societal collapse, believe that that world (therefore everyone else but themselves) would be untrustworthy and there may be some truth to that; however, everytime, most apocalyptic scenarios humans have already faced have been overcome with some level of teamwork whenever they're religious groups, protests, local armies, or simply restless citizens looking for bread to eat. You'd have to wonder if it's popular media driving this narrative (the lone mercenary) or if it's more core to human nature.
In regard to fitting in, I find myself to be a similar boat to be honest (I guess that's why we're all here on this relatively obscure website). Which is weird because I used to thrive in social groups but time, trauma, and whatever else has worsened my trust slowly in others and this world that we're in, turning me into the textbook definition of hyper-independent. But you're right, it's definitely a self-fulfilling prophecy and it's up to us to turn things around - of course, for some people, drawing people to them is as natural as breathing. And for others, it's like trying to breathe up for water.
Reconnecting with those you like, finding new (or revisiting old) hobbies, and seeing new places have honestly helped me out a lot mentally. I hope that you can find your way out of this rut we're both in and strike that balance. Cheers to potential new relationships!
Thanks very much! My main struggle in this regard is still sticking with something long enough to make connections with other people regarding it. For example, I enjoy teaching, but even with those things that I know enough about to teach, doing so regularly starts to get dull very easily. It's tough.