I'm a spider, living next to the bedroom of the guy who writes this blog. He don"t know that I have superpowers. Not the ones that you can see in those stupid comics and films with a guy who jumps with a spider's web and a colored costume. I have powers... So you can see my writing, yeah ? What, you don't believe me ? But you do believe those comics and films, and some are believing that a man can walk on water. Try to be logic !
Well, I won't give you my name because spiders have no name (oh, good title for a song...). We are often very large families with many children. But our life is hard. I'm lucky to be in that house because he lets me live. Sometimes, he catch me and put me outside the house but I always come back by the same way when he opens his window. You can't imagine how tiny I can be when I need to enter to your houses. That's not a superpower for me, just the way I live. Do I think that your walk is a superpower, when I see how fragile you can be ? Walking on walls or on the ceiling, that's not a superpower, that's normal. I'm better that your Lionel Richie but I'm so bad for singing. Oh, I forget : You can't hear me speaking but I do speak in other frequencies that you can hear. You, humans, are so bad for senses like sight, hearing, walking. And do you really thing you are at the top of the species ? We will talk about that if you make the planet explode with your nuclear weapons. Yeah, we are ready to take you place with other insects you can't kill with that.
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But that's not why I came here and learned how to use that damned computer. I was here to tell you about my life. I'm a garden spider for years...sorry I don't use calendars like you, so I don't remember how old I am. You called me Araneus Diadematus. I'm a female and I'm dominant, killing the male after sex...Oh you're afraid ? With all the females of your species that you kill or rape, it's compensation, ah ah. Spider Humor, sorry. I was born in the garden, not from the house of that guy but it doesn't matter : The world is ours. And when he moved in, he changed a lot of things in his garden with new trees and plants. He kept some insects that I like to eat so I moved in another garden. Oh, you must know that we don't need to go to school to learn weaving a web or catching prey. That's innate, our instinct. You're so bad at this… And I became bigger and bigger in only seven molts. OK, I'm perhaps at the end of my life but I don't care about that. I'm not always thinking like you to the sense of life, the aim to be on earth, etc. I'm just living each day as a chance. And I'm not sure it's a chance to live next to most oh humans. I'm just lucky with that ...how you call that? Vegan. The first time I heard this word, I thought it was an alien, someone from another planet. Imagine, a human who don't want to kill and eat everything he has in his sight. OK, I'm a predator too and not even vegetarian (one of our legends is talking about a vegetarian spider...). But just to live, not for the pleasure to destruct. You won't see a spider playing to pull off the legs of a fly.
I gave birth to many children a few...months ago, outside of the house. I don't know how many survived and where they are. That's our family life. It's tough to live with all the animals around. For example, I don't like birds : they are eating us. I don't like cats : they are playing with us and killing us without aim. I don't like hedgehogs, rats, mice....You can't imagine how difficult is it to avoid all that species each day. It limits my moves. And I must protect the cocoon before the birth. But with what you call my powers, I can manage to escape difficult situations. I know that you don't like us, even if we are tiny. Jealousy because we have more legs, more powers than you. You even have tried to imitate us in movies like «Impossible mission» or «Entrapment» but forget it, you're too bad for that. That's not a reason to kill us when you see one of us on the floor, on the ceiling or in a corner. We are here to help you with other insects, you know the one who keeps you awake at night, mosquitoes, flies, … Did you hear us at night ? Never. So why are you so cruel with smaller than you. It's not even to eat us (I know that some humans are eating big spiders...). A cruel game ?
As I said, I'm very lucky to live where I am. The big guy there is always kind and don't try to kill us...But he has cats. My main problem is to keep my territory with other spiders coming from the outside. There are no problems to find a place to live, but such a good place, it creates some jealousy. Now it's winter and that's not the weather we love outside, with less flying insects. I'm fine to live inside in a room with a not too hot temperature. Oh, he's wakening and I must end this post. I hope he won't understand how he has written. He's like this, a dreamer, thinking that his imagination makes him find some stories. We inspired many stories, novels, films but you could write or create something happy and not always murders, horrors, nightmares... I will perhaps come back to tell you about spider's dreams.
2Dɛ
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