Yeah, I think I get that, I think I understand what you're talking about. But one thing is — it /is/ possible to build an identity of your own. And you're going to /grow/ and /change/ in directions you never even thought you could. Gods know I've changed more times than I can count.
And it feels like everyone's hiding deep inside hard adaptive shells. Because I /know,/ I've /seen/ that people are deep and kind and beautiful, but you can't even touch that, they just retreat into narrow socially-acceptable paths — I've been thinking of finding more free and genuine places, but I have no idea where! And I can't even fault them, because I'm the same way, just gradually clawing my way out of the pit of the endless game of fitting in.
The glimpses I've caught of connection, though, have been wonderful — and if I know anything about the world it's that it /will be/ possible for you to find them, it really will be.