. . . . . . . . + . . : . .. :. .___---------___. . . . . :.:. _".^ .^ ^. '.. :"-_. . : . . .:../: . .^ :.:\. . . :: +. :.:/: . . . . . .:\ . . _ :::/: . ^ . . .:\ . . . - : :.:./. . .:\ . . . ::. ::\( . :)| . : . : .:.|. ###### .#######::/ . :- : .: ::|.####### ..########:| . .. . .. :\ ######## :######## :/ .+ :: : -.:\ ######## . ########.:/ .+ . . . . :.:\. ####### #######..:/ :: . . . . ::.:..:.\ . . ..:/ . . .. : -::::.\. | | . .:/ . : . . .-:.":.::.\ ..:/ -. . . . .: .:::.:.\. .:/ . : : ....::_:..:\ ___. :/ . . .:. .. . .: :.:.:\ :/ + . . : . ::. :.:. .:.|\ .:/| . + . . ...:: ..| --.:| . . . . . . ... :..:.."( ..)" . . : . .: ::/ . .::\
馃憢 Farts.
馃棧 Followers 1 路 Following 4 路 Logs 12 路 Docked 2 years ago
Based on the child's reaction to me bellowing "No, *I'M* gonna shit your pants", I'm pretty certain that I have finally mastered parenting.
馃挰 3 Replies 路 6 Thumbs 路 3 weeks ago
Secret hint: When trapped in the bathroom, spam your wife with Beavis & Butthead GIFs until she figures out that you need TP for your bunghole.
馃挰 2 Replies 路 2 Thumbs 路 2 months ago
My wife is refusing to get me additional wives for my birthday.
馃挰 6 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 2 months ago
Ladies Love Shoulder Hair
馃挰 2 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 2 months ago
Cheap entertainment: when talking to. A Car Person, refer to one of the various car fluids as "juice".
馃挰 1 Reply 路 4 Thumbs 路 3 months ago
I have several children, but zero of them would like their names changed to Igbert Wigbert Pigbert. Parenting is an unending string of disappointments.
馃挰 1 Reply 路 1 Thumb 路 5 months ago
Morning earworm: Springtime for Hitler. I hope I don鈥檛 start singing it on the train. Or that I do. Whichever is funnier.
馃挰 2 Replies 路 5 Thumbs 路 7 months ago
It would be cool if the air had less fire in it.
馃挰 3 Replies 路 6 Thumbs 路 8 months ago
Found a scotch bonnet salsa at the farmer鈥檚 market last week. I liked it on its way in, but I do not like it anymore.
馃挰 5 Replies 路 1 Thumb 路 8 months ago
Today鈥檚 disappointing Spellbinding non-word: helicycle.
馃挰 5 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 9 months ago
Secret hint: the constant evangelizing is why nobody likes evangelicals. It鈥檚 right there in the name.
馃挰 4 Replies 路 1 Thumb 路 2 years ago
Suspicion: If my wife ever stops speaking, she will instantly die.