It is 11 pm. I can hardly keep my eyes open, yet my brain is running wild with intrigue as I watch the actions of the people around me. Two old ladies sit by the door. They have been sitting there for 3 hours now, following their 2 hour movie. They sit and they talk forever. I find myself personally invested in their make believe conversation in my head, imagining what in the world one could talk for 3 hours about. Sure, I have had my own share of hour long rants, but I become exhausted so fast. I get self aware, and start looking around as I talk, my eye contact falling short, my voice losing its volume as I realize I have gotten too exited and had become too loud. I can hardly type this without nodding off, as I think about the people who may or may not read it and resonate. Whatever those ladies are talking about, I do hope it is pleasant for the both of them.
i have chronic fatigue and feel this very hard, i can barely hold enough energy for 3 hours of even just thinking at a time. i think that the super long conversations are just done where you just keep playing off each other. my long ones have been discussions about philosiphy, jokes, silly theoreticals, its more about the fun of talking with your friends then the specific topic. i imagine that's what the ladies were doing c:
as for feeling self aware and stuff, i experinced that due to autism, i'd realize my way of communication was very diffrent then others and that combined with instilled feelings from other people in my life as a grew up, that made me feel ashamed of my infodumping. its ok though, you are allowed to be loud and not make eye contact and be excited. i wish you restful time for us the unrested