i had a post mostly written out and the gremlins ate it. it is no more. but things have not been that interesting so i don't feel the need to write it out in full again. i bitched about how a couple folks in my gaming group aren't following the jan 6 hearings and think it's a "distraction" from high gas prices and biden (what?? who fucking cares? he was always a soggy sandwich and i've no idea why gas costs get priority over raging health care costs). i thought they were smarter than this and i'm a bit disgusted. we get together every week so our bisexual gm can tell us stories about scary wild west demons. we're basically deviant satan worshippers as far as these fascist christians are concerned and i'm peeved that my fellow deviants don't understand how much we would be forced to give up if we just shrugged our shoulders at the whole insurrection and let trump sic his monster on our country.

(i wrote this before the roe v wade thing dropped. yeah, that's the tip of the shit iceberg they're going to ram us with. if you're a straight white dude and you don't think uterus stuff or even trans/gay stuff affects you and you're so devoid of compassion you can't figure out why you should care about other people ... they'll come for your favorite things eventually. your porn, your anime, your rpgs, your comics, all of it. bet on it. if they can justify it as "bad for children" (except guns of course!!) they will throw a nationwide tantrum about it. they won't stop until they legislate everyone into church on wednesdays and sundays. for the good of your immortal soul, which you can't be trusted to properly maintain yourself, just like women can't be trusted with their body choices. trust me, straight white dudes will get plenty of fuckery too, they're just at the end of the line, not the front. they will always seek to control and punish what they have identified as "sin".)

must admit, not hopeful we are going to avoid fascism. i like that the hearings are getting the dirty laundry out. everyone should watch them.

you'll know they're really "winning" when hollywood begins to see them as a market segment and starts pushing mainstream christian friendly movies and entertainment. get ready for a glut of "family friendly" hallmark movies with all the creativity of a damp kitchen sponge.

then i went over prep stuff i am doing for APOCALYPSE II: THE MORE DUMBERING and why i don't think having a huge supply hoard is very smart (with the exception of people who are already off grid in an established farm/compound and are used to living off their preps). i think 1-2 months of food is the sweet spot. if you need more than that, chances are the situation is so dire you are better off thinking of leaving and it won't be practical to take all that with you. esp in alaska. i prep for shorter term supply interruptions and natural disasters and such, not for nuclear attacks. i don't want to live in fallout-for-realsies. i like hot running water and flush toilets, because i've experienced living without. if you're telling me things are so borked that the rest of my life is going to be pooping in a hole while cannibals hunt me, i'm going to nope right out and find something to OD on. so that's why i will never try to have a years worth of food (also i'm fat and maybe a little forced portion control would help, so my shameful vain side is like, "okay, we'll be hungry, but maybe we'll be hot? is this bad?"). foolish, maybe, but i guess we'll know in 6 months. the youtube doomers think the 4th of july is when things will get bad (either people buy too much and clean out the supply, or people figure out they are super broke and can't afford food and gas - opinions seem to be mixed on which option, but everyone agrees it will be TERRIBLE and SCARY). personally i do not think we will have a dramatic sudden shift like we did during the covid shutdown with people buying all the toilet paper and such overnight. i think it will be super boring, mildly irritating drudgery like, "i wasted gas going to four stores and can't find ingredient" or "found ingredient but it's $12 when it used to be $3 and i couldn't make my famous double chocolate fudge butterscotch cookies for my starving children, it's a tragedy, let's blame biden".

also i haven't rebuilt the pantry since we moved, so i have a lot of missing things. i made a costco and walmart run yesterday and got most of what we need. i have plenty of lentils and chickpeas, plus pinto, black and kidney beans for chili. i got cornmeal for corn bread (the thing i neglected to get for APOCALYPSE I). sugar and flour and yeast and baking stuff. some canned goods (but not green beans this time, sorry spouse, they are gross). i got two boxes of sailor boy pilot bread, which is kind of a weird alaskan thing. during the covid shutdown daniel did an experiment to make hardtack and it was something you would only find edible under very dire circumstances. about as appealing as gnawing on baked playdoh. that got daniel and spouse talking about sailor boy pilot bread. we ended up ordering a box off amazon for a ridiculous inflated price as it's hard to find outside of alaska. pilot bread is like a large, round, thick saltine cracker except without the salt. it's bland but way more edible than the hardtack. pretty good with chili or soup. anyway i got two boxes as sort of a "lol, apocalypse" and sent spouse a picture. i got some of costco's finest house brand liquor. last time, dark 'n stormies were the adult beverage of the apocalypse. not sure if we will repeat or if i will change it up.

basically i just made sure we acquired whatever would be nice to have on hand, knowing what was harder to get during the pandemic. we won't starve. we have beans. i still have some stuff to track down but i got the majority. we have the pro one gravity filter for water. i'm more concerned with things that need specialized manufacturing, like electronics, or stuff coming from china. i expect china will start a war (i don't see how they can avoid it), and if our first step is economic sanctions then there goes most of the inventory on amazon. have you noticed how many things are "currently unavailable" yet you can't sift them out from search results? can't tell until you click on it. i think amazon is a lot lower on choices than it appears. i think they are mucking around with what they'll ship to alaska, too. i bought some plastic food storage bins and most of the choices were marked as "choose a valid address" which i totally understand for large, bulky stuff like furniture, or certain chemicals/batteries, but these are a much smaller, compact, lightweight item. why wouldn't it be available? it was very strange that i had to hunt so hard. so that makes me think amazon may not be as alaska-friendly in the future.

i can't remember what else ...

oh, it was the solstice so i had a grey project session and it was very pleasant. i haven't done anything with the grey project since feb and honestly i'd kinda forgot what it was like, haha. there was a lot thought/discussed to mull over, but the overall theme was seeds-and-flowers, and finding a way to bloom in a crack in the cement or a rocky cliff or whatever inhospitable place you might find yourself. the world seems super chaotic right now and it was such a positive mental reset. how lucky was it that i had the opportunity to pursue the grey project when i did? very, very lucky. very thankful. it isn't a magic bullet, it just shakes up your snowglobe if you need it.

the slappers have been on good behavior lately. not much to report. i've seen birds sporadically at the bird fountain, but no hummingbirds at the feeder. the morning glory seeds have sprouted and seem to be doing well. i threw down some california poppy and pansy seeds and hoping to see sprouts soon.