well, my mode of thinking matured I guess as time went by and I let go of that ideology all together. Just like you, I realized that anarchism is improbable and disastrous for the masses in the long run. You are devoid of personal responsibility, of the many things that make people unique is devoid in an anarchistic "nation". I out grew this notion because I realized also whether we like it or not government HAD its purpose, now government is the public tyrant but regardless, we need government to a limiting reach.
I then went to college and all that but all I wanted to do was become a cop and I did and I loved it. I am 52 now, a few years ago I went to school and learned to code and became a web developer. Throughout the years politics have left me disillusioned and disgusted so now I just live day to day, building sites for any client who wants me for their designer and the rest of life goes on, I am happy now more so than I was back when.
Just like you, I realized that anarchism is improbable and disastrous for the masses in the long run.
Maybe not just like me. I've little patience for the "social justice" types, but I still think of myself as an anarchist of sorts. I recognize that I am ultimately responsible for my own actions, and that I am the only one who can govern myself. All society and the state can do is punish me after the fact. Fortunately, my moral compass is mostly compatible with the law because for the most part I just want to be left alone to do my own thing in peace.
However, I'm generally not evangelical about my anarchism. I don't try to persuade people that they have no real obligation to obey the dictates of society or the laws enacted by the state, because most people seem to need that kind of structure to give meaning to their lives.
I'm content to let people make whatever rules and laws they like. If I find them onerous, I'll ignore them. If I can't ignore them, then I'll defy them. If there's a price to be paid, I'll pay it, but it's ultimately *my* choice and *my* responsibility.