From nobody@prles2.UUCP Sun Apr  9 15:32:48 1989
From: nobody@prles2.UUCP (nobody)
Subject: Sexist joke - female Chemistry students only...


Anyone got the other half of this ? I can't believe it doesn't exist.



				CHEMICAL ANALYSIS



Element: 		Woman
Symbol:			Wo
Discoverer:		Adam
Quantitative Analysis:	Accepted at 36-24-36, though isotopes ranging from 
			25-10-25 to 60-55-60 have been identified.
Occurrence:		Found wherever Man is, but seldom in the highly 
			reactive, energetic singlet state. Surplus quantities
			in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:	Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at 
			absolutely nothing and freezes at a moments notice.
			Totally unpredictable. Melts when properly treated, 
			very bitter if not well used. Found in various states,
			ranging from virgin metal to common ore. Non-magnetic,
			but attracted to money and sports cars. In its natural
			shape, the specimen varies considerably, but it is 
			often changed artificially so well that the change is
			indiscernible except to the experienced eye.
Chemical Properties:	Has great affinity for Au, Ag and Cu, especially in the
			crystalline form. May give violent reaction if left 
			alone. Will absorb great amounts of food matter. Highly
			desired reaction is initiated with reagents such as
			C(2)-H(5)-OH, and sexy aftershave lotions. An essential 
			catalyst is often required (you must say you love her 
			at least five times daily). Reaction accelerates when
			in the dark and all reaction conditions are suitable.
			Extremely difficult to react if in the highly stable 
			pure form. Yields to pressure applied at the correct 
			points. The reaction is highly exothermic.
Storage:		Best results are obtained between the ages of 18 and 25
			years.
Uses:			Highly ornamental. Used as a tonics for low spirits. 
			Used on lonely nights as a heating agent - if properly
			prepared.
Tests:			Pure specimens turn rosy tint if discovered in raw, 
			natural state. Turns green if placed beside a better
			specimen.
Caution:		Most powerful reducing agent known to Man (income and
			ego). Highly explosive in experienced hands. Specimen
			must be used with great care if experiments are to 
			succeed.

NOTE:			It is illegal to possess more than one permanent
			specimen, though a certain amount of exchange is 
			permitted.
Owen P.McArdle         || NET  : mcardle@apolloway.prl.philips.nl
Philips Research Labs. || PHONE: +31-40-742824
   "Oh no, not again".