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-Thozz-pfuncky-chikenz-----------------------------------znekihc-ykcnufp-zzohT-
Dis-pfuckin'-claimer!--------------------------------------
Don't do anything described in the pfollowing text pfile.
It's illegal. It's here so that you can do nipfty little
school reportz on hacking/pfreaking/etc.  We don't do this,
so you shouldn't either.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Thiz pfile was pfucked up by: Pinball Wizard.

------
Phone Patching made EASY!
------

     You may ask, "What is phone patching?"  Well, my friend, it is a neat
little thing to write a too-short LcA t-file on when you haven't put a thing 
out in over a month.  Actually, it is where you either sneak up to your 
neighbor's house when the are asleep or not there, open the little gray box on 
the side of their house, stick a phone line/cord in and either sit there and 
call phone sex numbers, or run a line to your house from there and phrack on 
their line.  The latter being both stupid and dangerous.
     Now.  Ma Bell has done some pretty stupid things in the past, but making
little gray "customer service" boxes on the sides of people's homes is about as
stupid as I've seen her get.  The only thing seperating these boxes from the
outside world is a screw or latch.  They do have little holes in them so that
people can put big, nasty locks trough them (which is what I suggest you do
RIGHT NOW), even though they are plastic and can be melted quite easily.
     What you do to get inside of these things, is take a screwdriver (if it is
one of the newer ones, which it probably is), stick it in the corresponding
screw, turn a coupla times, and voila!  It is opened!

Diagram:

      ______________________
     |                 |  _ \
     |                 | / \ \
     |   Ma Bell       | | ---------lockhole
     | Customer Service| \_/ /
     |     Box         |  _ /
     |                 | /|\|
     |                 | \|/--------screw
     |                 |   /
     |                 |__/
     |                 |
     |                 |
     |                 |
     |_________________|

when opened, it looks like this:

     |\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|  @=terminals  .=red wire ,=green wire
     | @             @ |
     |       ___       |  ==phone jack
     | @... |   | ...@ |
     |   . .|   |. .   |
     | @,.,,|   |,,.,@ |
     |   ., |   | ,.   |
     | @ ., |= =| ,. @ |
     |   ., |   | ,.   |
     |  | | |   | | |  |
     |__| |_|___|_| |__|
        |/|       |\|
         +--wires--+

     What you can do here is either take a portable phone and plug it into the
phone jack, if a phone jack is installed.  On a normal, 1-line house, the only
phone line will be installed on the right.  In a two-line house, there will be
two sets of red and green wires.  You can take a phone line, strip it, attach
two alligator clips to the red and green wires, and hook them directly onto the
terminals, so they will fly off when you take off running instead of having to
sit there and unplug that clumzy telephone wire.  If you feel especially
malicious, you can completely sever the wires, indefinitely disconnecting their
line, destroy the box, and/or put a 12-ohm resistor on the red and green wires 
(making their conversations faint and decidedly short-lived).  If you are 
feeling especially malicious and have lots of time and wire, you can hook all of
the neighbor's phone lines together, thus, every time someone picks up the 
phone and dials, all of the lines will dial at once, and everyone will be able 
to hear the conversation when they pick up their phone.

     Ok, my pfingers are getting tired, so I had better stop.

------------------------------------------
This has been one of the first LcA files written completely from experience
instead of cut-and pasted from some ancient phrack!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This has been a WHOOPIE GRANOLA MELLOWNESS instigated by the guys at the LCA!
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