Positive Parenting: Supporting your child’s development through play

Charles Prashaw, 12 Nov

CHILDREN are born with a natural desire to play and explore. It is

through this important “work” that they develop skills and learn about

the world around them.

As a parent you play the most important role in helping and encouraging

your child’s play and exploration.

Play is crucial to brain development and supports the development of

attention, concentration, motor skills, social skills and language.

Play also helps to build children’s resilience.

Resilient children have a more secure and positive view of themselves

and the world, as well as more adaptive coping skills when faced with

stress and challenges.

Play is a key feature in helping children learn about emotions as well

as how to manage them.

Young children cannot regulate their own emotions and so they rely on

parents to co-regulate with them.

This can be done during play when a child gets big emotions, eg anger,

or frustration.

A parent that models a calm emotion-regulating response during this

time is teaching their child to understand, accept and manage these big

emotions.

Play provides space to develop a secure parent-child relationship which

is essential to early development.

Children respond best when their parent is fully engaged with them.

Being fully engaged with your child means avoiding distractions,

particularly your mobile phone, and being fully attentive to them.

Sit facing your child when you play and make eye contact. Your child

loves to see your face and your emotions reaction.

Follow their lead and their interests; be curious about what they are

doing and incorporate nurturing touch such as hugs, a rub on the back

or a special handshake.

Talk to your child using simple language during play.

This shows them that you are interested and tuned into what they are

doing and such a narrative is important for the development of language

skills.

The need to play and communicate begins at birth and continues right

through life.

A baby that is smiling, giggling and looking at their parents’ face is

playing and learning.

Play changes as the child grows and looks different at different ages

and stages.

Between the ages of 0 and 4, sensory and messy play allows the child to

explore using touch, sight, smells and sounds.

Messy play is not always the easiest for parents but it is incredibly

important for eye-hand coordination and motor skills.

Tough as it may seem, try to grin and bear the play-doh, paints, gloop,

magic sand etc. and tackle the mess later when the valuable learning

experience is over.

Around the age of 4 or 5 years, narrative play takes centre stage.

Children use stories and characters, like the princess or superhero, to

explore and retell scenarios.

They may use their imagination to immerse themselves in the story.

Role play allows children to take on roles they see in everyday life;

mum, dad, teacher, doctor etc.

All of these types of narrative play encourage children to think about

and consider others perspectives.

They encourage the exploration of cause and effect as well as problem

solving and the development of empathy.

As children get older they develop more independence in their play.

They enjoy social play with peers and going to friends’ houses.

With this play, they are learning to understand and adjust to social

norms and rules, co-operate and negotiate with others, as well as

developing their listening, communication and problem-solving skills.

Although independence should be supported, children will still seek out

parental involvement and support at times.

Be ready when called on!

This article was written by Elisha Minihan, Psychology Assistant with

HSE Primary Care Child and Family Psychology Service. The Child and

Family Psychology Service are members of Parenting Limerick, a network

of parenting and family support services. For more information about

this and other topics go to www.loveparenting.ie