Hey there, I've been struggling with this for just over 10 years now (half my life) and only very recently have I felt actually comfortable in my religious standing. I used to be a member of the Nazarene denomination but they... well, they've gone downhill a little bit (or at least the part of the church that I saw).
Anyway, after all of that time truly pondering this pretty much every day of my life, this is what I've arrived at. Christianity is probably not the right answer, especially if you still have the basic Christian morals (i.e. love unconditionally). I have struggled with the fact that some of the exact same people that taught me to love are hateful themselves and support divisive people. To me, this was an obvious red flag and I've only been proven right unfortunately. Don't mistake me: some of the best people I've met have been Christian and this confuses me quite a lot because they mean perfectly well. They distance themselves from all of the awful stuff surrounding it. My parents are a great example of this. However, I totally understand what you mean by the "need to convert" mentality they all have. It's not really their fault, it's just how religion is structured sociologically. I agree that it would be pretty difficult to be a part of a church while not believing and trying to save your family from being indoctrinated essentially. This is why I have a hard time being in a church.
To be clear, I'm not an atheist by any means. As for whether or not there's a God, I am a "hopeful agnostic" as Rhett from Rhett & Link puts it. Something I've been researching more are Asian religions, my favorite being Taoism. Even the more "out there" religions seem to be pretty down to earth, a key indicator being pluralism/non-absolutism. Zen Buddhism is also a favorite of mine for the same reasons. I don't know if I'll ever actually call myself a member of any of those religions anytime soon, but their wisdom provide a lot more comfort and direction than Christianity could ever provide me. To be clear once more: this is not an "ad," I'm just providing the path I've taken to a more sustainable spirituality in a post-Christian life.
As for the community, I'm not totally sure. I used to be in a large community of people who I loved that I've strayed away from because of this. "Was it worth it?" is a question I ask myself a lot; I genuinely believe the answer is yes, because I have opened myself up to learning more, loving more, and becoming a better person.
Email me at mail@jordanreger.com if you want to chat more about this because I could talk for hours about it. Cheers!
Hello! I've spent a lot of time poking at the edges of eastern wisdom but ultimately kinda stopped trying to find myself another set of rules to follow and instead tried to let myself just float in the stream (which I guess is what a lot of traditions are trying to teach?). Also just going to counseling (secular counseling, obviously) was a helpful step! Trained professionals who learned from modern sources and science who you can talk to about your thoughts and feelings, who would have thought?!