Date: 2020-05-31
State: Completed
I was considering whether to write this or not. I'm putting forward, on the internet, my views on an extremely divisive issue. But I decided I would anyway.
A shopping center near me was looted, buildings broken into and burned. But I don't have any recommendations on what we should do next. I think the protestors are marching for justified reasons. But I'm also scared. I remember parking my bike to go shopping some months ago when I thought all was "normal", before COVID, before this. Then yesterday I watched a SWAT team deploy in my backyard as folks looted and raided the same place I parked my bike at and went shopping. Where I bought the light that lights up the room I'm typing in now. Where I bought someone dear to me a gift that they value.
I firmly believe that most people do not riot without a reason. There has to be one here too. I'm not going to discuss them; I'm not a political pundit, and you can go to Twitter or those other social media sites to get a million and one takes on the matter. All I can say is that I'm scared.
You know, I've always been an avid fan of history. When I was young (and gosh was I stupid), I lusted for revolution. I grew up in an urban ghetto and my parents were not doing well then; we shopped at WalMart and I treasured the three $8 sweaters I had to my name. Of course I was also a teenager, and my thoughts and feelings combined with the poverty around me made me thirst for revolution. I wanted to be like one of those folks in history. I wanted to watch Castro get onto a rickety wooden pallet and shout into a loudspeaker "Una Revolucion".
And now I am here. And it's so different than what I thought I'd be, and I look back at myself and think I was incredibly stupid. There's curfews throughout our area, you can't really move in the evenings. I'm visiting my parents and I had to tell my mom to cut her evening walk short because a curfew is in place. But why? I love summer evenings! Oh right, because our political fabric is in shambles...
Really. I'm scared and I feel as if everyday is a new challenge. Something new to react to. I feel as if the little agency I had in my life to begin with has eroded. My life is just about reacting.