Group Reviews:

        This is the editorial portion of our newsletter where we (OK, I) give
opinions of various groups.  Here goes:
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        The first group we are going to "review" is TPU.  TPU is a new group 
that stands for, with alternating caps removed for your viewing pleasure, The 
People Upstairs.  I recently got my hot little hands on their first release, 
Elite Acro List v1.0.  Lo and behold, it was none other than BTW's Cheat Sheet 
repackaged!  It took us HOURS to assemble it, and five minutes for them to hack
it!  
        I called up their WHQ to flame those lamers!  I logged on, filled out 
the usual crap, sent my validation letter, and got full access to all elite 
areas!  I didn't have to get validated!  Any fed could have called up, filled 
out (even blatantly phony info) and busted 'em in all of five minutes!  
        While I was there, I checked out their file bases.  They had TWO! One
was "TPU releases" and had THREE files in it!  I downloaded another release of
theirs (one was the acro list and one was 1.5 megs and I didn't feel like
racking up my phone bill too much.)  The transfer was fast (it was a 50K file)
and error-free.
        When I got it back onto my computer, I tried to unzip it.  The ZIP was
corrupt!  Off of their WHQ!  I PKZIPFIXed it and extracted a semi-working "K00L
3Li+3 TrAnSlAtOr".  Pathetic, I tell you, utterly pathetic.  I ran it.  First I
saw their logo.  Amateurish as all hell.  Must have took 'em five whole 
minutes.
        Then I translated their NFO file for the hell of it.  I looked at the 
results.  They had stripped it of all CR/LFs.  It was just one big jumble!  And
the translation was to high-bit ASCII.  Someone ought to tell these guys that
high-bit ASCII went out with alternating caps, if not earlier!  All in all, TPU
is the lamest group I've EVER seen.
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        The next group we'll review is NWO.  NWO stands for New World Order.  
History students may notice that was a slogan used by none other than Adolf
Hitler.  Also, it's a group "of Asians, by Asians, and for Asians".  Nice 
attitude to have, eh?
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        As is discussed in Scene News, PE & MAD recently merged to form a group
called "The FiRM Inc."  While I do wish them the best of luck and everything,
maybe they should have used a more original name.  Astute readers of my Cheat
Sheet (by far the best acronym list in the business!) will notice that FiRM is
already used by another group to mean "First in Releasing the Most".  Sorry,
The FiRM Inc.
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        Two more REDICULOUSLY overused acronyms are MAD and ATM.  *PLEASE*
don't use 'em...  Think of something a bit more original!        
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        Well, I found yet ANOTHER Cheat Sheet hack... This one by Matrixx
[UBiC]...  I called up Black Sunshine, which he is co of...  As soon as I
logged on, I got locked out!  Why?  Because these fucking jerks don't want to
hear MY anger over the theft of a BTW release! 
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        I know this isn't exactly a group but TWATINFO.ZIP *REALLY* pissed me
off!  It was someone (who called himself "2 Elite 4 U") bashing SWaT.  I d/led
it and read it.  After the fifteenth time 2E4U called CyberChrist (the 
President of SWaT) CyberCrud, it started to get boring.  
        Maybe 2E4U should have checked who else he was hurting before he 
parodized SWaT as TWaT.  As some of you may know, one of the precursors of 
this group was called TWaT, for Text Writerz and Traderz.  That article was one
of the reasons why BTW was formed.
        One of the main criticisms that 2E4U has of SWaT is that it recently
expelled several seinor staffers.  2E4U also says that 2E4U is a nom de plume
he adopted for this article.  My hypothesis is that 2E4U is a disgruntled 
former senior staffer of SWaT who adopted a handle to protect his credibility.
Several others have bashed groups & BBSes when they got thrown out, most 
notably The Producer's ANTI-TUN.ZIP.
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        Well, that's enough bashing for this issue.  Just a reminder: the above
does not represent the opinions of either BTW or of any of its members. 
Finally, cya next issue.
                                       - (Compilation of Anonymous Submissions)