Intro: This is a simple message thread captured from the File Shack BBS in Grand Island, NE. It shows just how off the wall some people can get when they don't know the meaning of of a word. =========================================================================== Date: 12-12-90 (23:33) Number: 258 The File Shack From: A NICE GAL Refer#: NONE To: ANOTHER GAL Recvd: YES Subj: misc. Conf: (0) General --------------------------------------------------------------------------- DM>I can embroidery, cross stitch, knit, and latch hook but never DM>take the time anymore. I never did learn how to crochet. Hi Deb, Sounds like you have a variety of talents! I never learned to crochet either or for that matter ceramics, ooh, nightmares when I think of ceramics. I cross stitch, sew, scherenschnitte, I love what I call Victorian crafts, bows and lace stuff. I am soon going to be teaching classes on scherenschnitte, and selling my victorian pillows at a craft store. One of those Awesome Women, ** A Nice Gal ** --- � SLMR 1.0 � Woman don't have to be on the bbs to be awesome, just be. � TomCat! 2.5 � The File Shack - Power User Headquarters =========================================================================== Date: 12-13-90 (20:28) Number: 1 The File Shack From: A CRAZY MAN Refer#: 258 To: A NICE GAL Recvd: NO Subj: Oh Really? Conf: (0) General --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ���scherenschnitte I've known how to do that myself since I was 14 years old. The first time I saw it being done was at the local Elks lodge after a stag feed. I don't remember exactly all the rules and such as I have been welded to this computer like a siamese twin for the last two years and don't get out much, but this how I remember it. First of all I thought it was something only men did at bachelor parties and stag feeds, but today's life is crazy and you seem pretty worldly. I've seen several variations but I'll only go over the basic and professional versions. Since camera's are not allowed at the contests I'll try to explain it in great detail for those who don't know about it. It can be played in single or in teams relay-style. An indoor basketball court or dance floor makes the best playing surface. The "gear" is placed on the north end of the floor. The contestants strip down to their undershorts with shirts being optional. They line up on the south end of the floor. There are three referees, one on each end and one who runs around the middle. When the south ref blows his whistle, the contestants race to the north end of the floor to don the gear and start the race. The gear for each contestant consists of a specially modified pair of pantyhose. Instead of the normal two legged style, these have three legs. The first two legs are where you put your feet and legs, and the third leg has a spherical object in the foot. The size of the object or ball as you may call it is optional and usually relates to the ego of the player. I've see them range from golf balls to footballs and basketballs. I think softballs are best though. Anyhow, after you get your hose on, and your extra leg properly positioned, you are ready to start the main part of the race. Each player has a toy truck or automobile on the floor which they must push across the floor to the finish line on the other side using only the ball in the third foot. Once your ball has touched the car you must put your hands on top of your head and are not allowed to take them down until you cross the finish line. This can be very frustrating, and some contests can last quite a while depending on the skill of the contestants and the slipperiness of the playing surface. Sometimes it is just a simple single trip across or several laps around, just depends on the local rules. I don't remember how the final score is computed, but I do know there are penalties and ways to get extra points or be disqualified. Extra points are awarded for: 1. Exceeding the recommended heighth and weight for the hose. Unless you end up ripping the crotch out in which case you are automatically dis-qualified. 2. Being able to stay on a course not wider that 6 feet wide. Points are deducted for: 1. Getting runs. These are cumulative. The first run costs you 1 point, the second 2 points, the third 3 points and so on. Some rookies get so excited they get so many runs they loose the game before their balls even hit the floor. 2. Slipping and falling down. Same way as the runs, first is 1 point, second is 2, and so on. 3. Taking your hands off your head. This costs 5 points the first time, 10 the second, 20 the third, and so on. You can figure on totally loosing if it happens more than twice. 4. Getting off course and touching another player. Depends on the local rules how much this costs you. 5. Knocking down a ref could get you throw out of the game. The refs are easy to spot. They also wear hose, but each of their legs are different colors. Each ref has one white leg and one black leg. The refs are not allowed to have a third leg. Since they are constantly running around at high speed, it would be too dangerous to have that thing flailing around. 6. For the relay team version, each team takes turns pushing the car each way. Since the hose have to be put on and taken off at each change, timing and preventing runs is critical. From watching TV, I'd say your best bet would be NoNonsense. Since the players have to take the hose off and put them back on several times at high speeds accidents are very common. I remember that at the 1976 regional play-off's in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that the champion at that time ended up with one leg inside out. He was severely injured, but the team still ended up coming in third. The professional version is played both with single contestants and relay teams. There are more rules, but the main difference is that the players have to wear at least three inch heels and support hose are not allowed. I can't hardly believe women would engage in such nonsense, but these are the days of equality. I'd like to come to one of your games and see you play. I'd be cheering for you all the way. --- � SLMR 1.05 #T250 � This message will self-destruct in 10 days ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue: The names where changed to protect the guilty. We have a great bbs here. We're not trying to be a monster 10 gig 60 line operation. We're just a friendly place to visit. We operate by the golden rule. We treat our callers as we ourselves wish to be treated. Not only do we run a bbs, we have a computer store and we participate on other bbs's too. We have a very active message base dealing with computer topics (mostly utilities and batch file stuff), rock music, and as you have seen here --- off-the-wall humor. So if you're looking for a new place to tell your jokes, make some new friends, learn some new tricks, trade some files, and just have an all out good time, give us a call. We're here all the time, we're 9600 HST, and we want to hear from you soon. Ted McKinney, Sysop File Shack BBS PS. Oh Yeah, the number is 308-384-1395 **************** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year **************** Wishing you and your loved ones the best in 1991