T E X T F I L E S

Humor: "Real" Guides

The theory holds that the concept of "Real" in the BBS Scene rose from

the bestselling book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche", published in the early

1980's. The audacity of this title, along with the easy copy-cat books

that surrounded it, are probably what led to a massive rush of textfiles

dedicated to listing or describing examples of "Real" Pirates, "Real"

Phreakers, "Real" Users, and a host of other modem personalities.

In some cases, the action gets extremely metaphysical, with a Guide to

Real Pirate's Guides, and Guides to types that no-one outside of the

author probably knew existed.

808-elit.txt

How to Be Elite, by 808 State (1991)

anarch.hum

Anarchists: What a bunch of Pussies! By Mr. Curious

anarchy.hum

How to be an Anarchist (Probably should be REAL ANARCHISTS...)

anklebyt.txt

The Real Anklebyter's Guide

bangers.txt

The Real Guide to Headbangers Volume 2: By Night Hawk and Night Ranger

compnerd.hum

How to be a Computer Nerd (Also known as "REAL NERDS")

engineer.txt

Real Engineers

k00ld00d.txt

The History of Real K-K00l D00Ds by The Edge

killnerd.hum

Spotting and Killing Nerds by John Smith and Sorcerer's Apprentice

kooldoo4.txt

K-K00L D00Ds Volume 4, by The Radioactive Snail

lechhate.hum

What Leeches Hate about AE Sysops

leechdic.hum

The Leech Dictionary, by the Blue Buccaneer

leechus.hum

A Lengthy Comparison of Real Users and Real Leeches

losers.hum

Real Losers Guide Volume 1, by The Enforcer

mel-prog.txt

The Story of a REAL Real Programmer: Mel

melvins.gph

Real Computer Melvins

pirates.txt

A Couple of Real Pirates Guides

pirates2.txt

The Real Pirates Guide Volume III V.2 Written by the Whip

power.txt

The Power User Guide to Power Users

pyros.hum

The Real Pyros Guide by The Locksmith

quiche.txt

Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche

real.pro

Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche

real_p.rog

Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, by Ed Post, Tektronix

real_pro.pas

Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL, by Ed Post, Tektronix

real_pro.spe

Real Porgrammers Don't Write Specs

realcpnk.txt

The Men from Mongo present Real Cyberpunks (September 24, 1991)

realduh.txt

The Real Deversi Dial Users Guide

realeng.sof

Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps

realgame.hum

A Guide to Real Gamers, by Fritz Mertens

realhomo.hum

The Guide to Real Homosexuals/Lesbians. I Suspect Fake.

realluze.hum

The Real Luzer's Guide, by Jimmy the Phreak

realmel.pro

Real Programmers Write in Fortran

realmen.txt

Real Programmers Don't Write Pascal

realops.txt

The Real operator's Guide

realpas.pro

Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL

realphre.hum

Real Phreaker's Guide Volume I, by Taran King

realpir.hum

Your Guide to Real Pirates Guides

realpir.txt

The Real Pirate's Guide, by Ctrl-Reset

realpira.hum

The Real Pirate's Guide, by Rabid Rasta

realprgr.txt

Another Real Progammers Guide

realpro.hum

Real Programmers Don't use Fortran!

realprog.txt

Real Programmers

realrokr.txt

A Real Rocker's Guide, by The Rocker

realscie.hum

Real Computer Scientists Don't Write Code

realsoft.hum

Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps

realsoft.txt

Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps

realsurf.txt

The Code of being a Real Surfer

realsys.txt

Real Sysops Don't Eat Quiche by Karl Kemerait and T. Badd

realteac.hum

Real Computer Teachers, by The Joker

realuser.txt

Real Sysops and Unreal Board Crashers, and Real BBS Users, by The Master Watchman

realwork.hum

Real Works Users, by Jason Scott

rpg.001

The Real Pirate's Guide

rpg1.txt

Being a Real Pirate.

rpg2.txt

Real Pirate's Guide, 2nd Edition

rpg3.txt

Real Pirate's Guide, 3rd Edition

ruggies.hum

The Real Ruggie's Guide

skimboar.hum

A Guide to Real Skimboarders

skinstud.hum

Real Skins Versus Real Studs

some.humor?

Collection of Really Weird News Stories from 1976

squid.hum

The True Definition of a Squid

ticool.txt

The Real "Cool Dudes" Guide, by Red Phantom

unrealus.hum

The Unreal User and the Real User, by Floppie Freddie