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                  "Grab the mic, and Ma Bell will connect you."

------f---u----c-----k----t---h-------e-----g--e-----s--t---a---po-----------!
                 
                 
                 _-~A Definitive Study on Primate Behavior~-_
                  ----and-the-Technique-of-Clear-Boxing-----

        So...what is the point of phreaking anyways?  Well...to communicate
with other people...FREE.  There are a lot of phunky ways to accomplish this,
involving tape recorders, tone dialers, economy-sized hair dryers, frequency
scanners, buckets of mayonnaise, and complicated Box constructions.  But all
this is just a more complex way to rip off the Fone Company, when in reality,
you don't need any of the above equipment.  None of it...not even the 
mayonnaise.  Of course, that would be fun to have handy, but its not totally
necessary.  One can wreak plenty of havoc without it.
        To accomplish this pheat of phreaking proficiency, all you need is a
nail.  Yes, a 3/32" diameter finishing nail, or something similar in shape,
and conductive.  To make a free local call, just cram that sucker into the
central hole of the mouthpiece, smack it against something really hard a few
times, and dial the first six digits of the number you're calling.  Then, 
touch the end of the nail to the metal cover of the money safe, and dial the 
seventh number.  Then...if you did everything right, Ma Bell will connect you, 
and you can get funky on the mic all you want.  If it doesn't work, then wipe 
the partially-chewed gum offa your boots, pick up your trusty mayo bucket, and 
move on down that old dusty road; the pay fone you have chosen doesn't work.  
Don't worry...theres plenty of phish in the sea.
        An alternate technique is to punch the mouthpiece with the nail as
above, and then to unfold a large paperclip so that it forms a square.  Stick
one end of this into the hole, and tuck the other end of it under the 'Blue
Guy' (the little blue thingy that covers the wire's connection to the mouth-
piece).  Dial the first six, then take the paperclip out of the mouthpiece,
and dial the seventh.
        This technique is _untraceable_ by ESS...It is the _least_ dangerous
form of phreaking.  So...if you're stuck at the airport w/out a quarter, don't
call dial 1-8oo-CoLLeCT.  The polite thing to do is to ClearBox it.

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