Another month, another wrap-up. Let's go.
As usual nothing really notable happened. Though I did end up writing a `gnuplot` script for a CSV file that was floating around.
It has also occurred to me that this drought in programming ability might in fact be a blessing in disguise as it may so turn out that because of contracts there is a possibility that any code I write might end up not being mine anyway.
Having said that I have learnt how to use git "the old way", i.e. without using any website portals, just pulling and pushing branches in various remotes, and I think I will try something like that up.
It's pretty much so that I haven't written any substantial code of any kind for myself since like, May. Things aren't going so hot at work either, as I will talk about later.
I released a new version of the Drsk grammar which I have left pent up for the last six months solely because work has consumed all of my life. It wasn't really even all that much, just a small part that needed to be clarified, but I at least got that behind now so that I can continue on other things.
I am finally coming close to bringing an end to Book 38 and moving to the next notebook. I am going to add a few more details to this notebook, notably including a table of contents for easy searching later. It's going to be pretty bare-bones at first but I intend for it to contain much more redundant information later.
I wrote a whole bunch about Ùzje mahjong again.
I now have a few more ideas about this game that I may write later if I ever have half my brains back. It's a transport simulator, which is simple enough: you are tasked with going from point A to point B, and you can optimise on budget, time or amount of walking. Additionally, it will be set in Ùzje, so I may add a mahjong mini-game also. I will need to add some more details to this on my org-mode agenda setup.
I have started my Minecraft world back up again for the first time in a few months. It's great that I still remember what I have to do but time is still quite short and I didn't get to progress far. Having said that I'm mostly satisfied despite the meagre time budget.
I've watched some let's plays on a recently-released game called Inscryption. It was pretty good, and while it is pretty story-heavy it's not a game that I would ever play on my own so spoilers are no problem for me. Having gone through several playthroughs of the game, which is not something I do very often, I have found that the characters in the story had quite an impact on me, and I think they seem to work well as generalised citizens of Ùzje. That would sound pretty meaningless to anyone else but me but basically it means that I can imagine them sitting around in an ordinary city and just having a normal life there also, and having an address and a native name and a flat and everything.
This month, and actually this year in general, has been a year where I many things have left my life in general:
Those are the physical people at least. I think it gets a little bit worse than that though. In particular there's something a much closer to me that seems to have gone missing as well...
It feels like no matter what I do, I seem to have hit been hit with some depressants. Things that would take me a couple minutes now take a quarter of an hour, and sometimes even more. Simple tasks now take so much time for me to gather my thoughts and despite all that I still manage to forget some component and then I get frustrated at it.
At work someone pointed out to me that I may have burnout and it was really weird because I only noticed it after I was told. It turns out for several other related reasons I have ended up not getting any productive output on one particular day I was working from home.
Was that especially bad? That I can't even figure out my mental state and someone else had to beat me to the punch? Yeah probably. I don't know what to do about it though.
So there's a couple of other things that kind of also blew up, like my weight and other parts of my health. It's not very fun to come in every morning and see your weight go up.
I think it's partially because of the brain worms issues above, which causes stress, which obviously affects my own appetite and my behaviour. There's not much I can say otherwise, other than maybe that I've become much more willing to be a spendthrift and to stress eat a lot too.
There's also the constant feeling of guilt I get over the departures above. So obviously the work-related departures are not particularly my problem and I don't feel torn up over it, but the fact that the amah left and the turtle died in such short instance did actually cause some level of damage to my psyche which I have not been made aware of or I have suppressed. After all, I think this kind of reduced cognition has been for a while and I can in fact be dumb enough to not notice my own thing until someone kicks me into noticing it.
And while these issues pop up from within there's always the problems that show up from without, but I guess I can be small-brained enough to ignore those for now.
As of me now writing this book 38 is complete and 39 will start in November. I'm still thinking of going to work on that PhD but I don't know how the things would evolve there. It is possible that I would fail just like last time because of lack of drive. Again, just like last time. Oh well.