One thing coming to mind is the word 'purpose' seems somewhat at odds with a handle like 'impulse'.
In that context, perhaps one area to explore is why you chose 'impulse', yet yearn for 'purpose'?
Just a thought.
The handle "impulse" was originated when I was younger, coming from the type of command block from Minecraft. "Impulse" is sort of the "main" type of command block. Eventually, the meaning switched to how I tended to not think before I acted.
I got better about that, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me.
I guess maybe I'm just not sure if I can truly become better, and it's become a self fulfilling prophecy.