There may have been a breakthrough last night.
Sure, there may be some THC credit due.
Sure, this wouldn't be the first time I thought I had/experienced "THE" breakthrough.
Sure, it's so hard to be sure.
But the results were undeniable.
Not that it wasn't possible to slip back into mental morass again at any instance (but likewise in the other direction).
But the difference was absence of just one thought.
This one: I
Honestly. It suddenly became obvious that raging waters of mind quelled to greater degrees in the absence of any thought pertaining to "I" (including derivative-ish matters like "me" and "mine"...).
In fact, there was intense joy in simple raw attention to im-mediate matters - the hyphen in 'im-mediate' suggesting absence of an "I" to mediate/filter/interpret, i.e. to be The One present for any proverbial trees falling in the proverbial woods.
Because sans the thought of an I suffering (aka enduring in time) anything in particular ...
... there quite simply isn't one?
(NOTE: your results may vary for content having shifted meaning across individuality-defined conceptuality contexts)
This Hyperbolic Caffeination can have that effect, for some. I'm a little envious as for me it only produces Trepidatious Hamstrung Confusion.
But I digress.
Actually, there is no 'But'. I just digress. Frequently.
If a breakthrough would only stay broken through, in terms of discerning the structure of one's budget of time and attention and What It Is Good For.
I get the strong impression in an actual pub, we would tackle these conundrums like I'm told Russian citizens do- we sit with a bottle of vodka, two glasses, argue over Dostoyevsky and the other topics (apparently Dostoyevsky is required to be one of the topics, always), until the bottle is finished.
" I can't live with myself!" Then I realized this was two people, 'I' and 'myself '. What if one of them isn't real?
(Paraphrasing Eckhart Tolle)