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fell off the journal wagon a tiny bit! not that it's bad to skip a day or two. i feel like i've been busy even though i haven't done much. after i got back from our mom's, i spent a day just sort of chilling. finally got to play a bit of lost ark on monday too! opened mabinogi for the first time in a little bit again too, i'm thinking i want to somehow play all these mmorpgs more lol... i miss them! especially mabinogi, which is something i haven't really touched in a while.
i did do a little bit of laundry yesterday... and talked to my case manager again! i was supposed to have the time and energy to sit down and work on SSDI paperwork, but i had neither. we talked about my plans and my motivation, plus generally what has been going on lately. it's the pandemic, i'm on the fritz, i shouldn't hold myself guilty for not being productive during a two week period where my washer and water both went up and then i immediately had to go move clothes and furniture. it's fine to be tired! especially considering: mental illness, despite everything else. that's all. lol. i'm doing FINE!
today [wednesday], i ordered groceries and cleaned a bunch of dishes. tried to tidy the kitchen counters a bit and went through the fridge for expired goods as i was putting the groceries away. took out the trash & recycling. played project sekai in between doing errands, and going out to get dog food. i'm actually happy with what i got done today. the kitchen mat is in the wash, and i need to order like, a bathroom set or something... you know the ones where there's a little toilet-shaped rug, a bath mat, and a sink rug? need one of those for the bathroom. the floor is cold in there. (╯-╰”)
i've been talking to a friend who has similar aspirations to me re: creating a "brand" of myself online for my art and presence. there's a lot to unpack about the conversation. the basic premise is that i (and also they) realize we need to create a cohesive, curated online 'self' that is representative of our interests, aspirations and goals/offerings. i'm sort-of working on this now, so extremely slowly because it should be a natural process i think... we also discussed about things like algorithms (ugh) and other things to consider as people who make money off of online platforms. of course, throughout all of this discussing and thinking, i do believe we should empower de-platforming artists (in the good sense! hehe) and helping them not have to rely on things like youtube/tiktok/twitter/insta/etc.... and being prey to the everchanging whims of those platforms. we're not anywhere near there yet but i'm thriving off of the things i'm seeing in small internet spaces and people, essentially, 'bringing the old web back' ... even right now, some of my favorite artists have joined or started webrings for their webcomics or art-related https websites. i see more and more people dive into this space and it's been helping push back the dread of things like web3 and the NFT conversation. this is, in a sense, our way of pushing back-right?
i'm thinking about this a lot lately because i am a creator on the web... maybe partially in-person at some point, but for now my capabilities lay online. even patreon has been involved in NFT business, and that's a platform that supports creatives. it would suck if masses of people stopped subscribing to the artists they do because of patreon, when that is the artist's livelihood otherwise. this is what i mean when i say that eventually this will affect everyone, and i feel like you have to choose what you want to do on that version of the internet. join the MLM or fight back, because it's already starting to happen. [not to imply that simply starting your own website will save the internet?]
i wonder if the old internet could ever have existed as it was with as many people connected online as now. if enough people are disgusted with the capitalistic takeover of the web and start filling it with their own spaces, though-maybe. that's just how i feel. there are plenty of things that have been kept alive on the internet simply for the love of it, or they find a way to provide the funding. and then there are things that have died, but that people loved so much THEY found a way to bring it back and keep it up in a way it deserves. i used to play a lot of games that centered around socializing, so my first thoughts are things like toontown (rewritten), furcadia, second life, vzones.... i wish someone out there would revive awolnow, but i guess that'd require you to also know taiwanese first. it was also such a niche game. there was also AIDO.tw which was the original, awolnow was the translated english version for international users. we had our own servers and website separate from AIDO. maybe in taiwan someone's revived it and i just don't know what it's called. super cute game with chibi characters! (♡´艸`) my first online community, besides furcadia. so, so glad furcadia is alive (and probably will be forever.)
making panko chicken later, and hopefully getting to organize myself more. i forget what i even need to do this week! ε=o(´ﾛ｀||)