Midnight Pub

Releasing control

~ss

~bartender, a Gatorade please.

Two days ago, I thought I'd be in Pittsburgh right now, jumping from museum to park to aviary, taking in all that the Steel City has to offer. My entire break from school was about as planned out as my life usually is, with various events planned, calendar entries created, and reservations booked. And then I ate one tiny snack.

An anaphylactic reaction and ER visit later, and all of that has changed. And the freedom I feel is astounding. I'm blessed to have a support system around me at the moment, and thankful that this happened in my hometown rather than at school, but nonetheless I haven't been physically forced to release control in this way for years. Even other times when I've been ill I never fully stopped trying to be productive or get things done, but coming off the epinephrine, even my muscles won't engage fully no matter how much I ask them to (I can move fine enough, but I have yet to summon enough grip strength to open a bottle).

While I hope to recover my strength by tomorrow (only to have it taken away again by meds for my wisdom tooth surgery), I (quite literally) can't help but sit and relax for once, just watching some videos, reading some articles, and popping into the Midnight of course. Maybe I need to build in more day for this kind of relaxation, albeit not in these circumstances and maybe with less of a splitting headache.

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