2009-04-09 05:30:17
Parents all know that children make it harder to do some of the most enjoyable
adult things. Bluntly put, kids can get between you.
Now scientists have attached some numbers to the situation.
An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in
marital satisfaction once the first child was born.
"Couples who do not have children also show diminished marital quality over
time," says Scott Stanley, research professor of psychology at University of
Denver. "However, having a baby accelerates the deterioration, especially seen
during periods of adjustment right after the birth of a child."
An unrelated study in 2006 of 13,000 people found parents are more depressed
than non-parents. Scientists speculate that the problem is partly a modern one,
because parents don't get as much help at home as they did in previous
generations.
There are key variables to note in the new study.
Couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after the
birth of a child than those who lived separately before marriage, as did those
whose parents fought or divorced.
However, some couples said their relationships were stronger post-birth. They
tended to have been married longer or had higher incomes.
Children don't ruin everything, Stanley points out.
"There are different types of happiness in life and that while some luster may
be off marital happiness for at least a time during this period of life, there
is a whole dimension of family happiness and contentment based on the family
that couples are building," he said. "This type of happiness can be powerful
and positive but it has not been the focus of research."
The new research, funded by a grant to the University of Denver from the
National Institutes of Health, is detailed in the Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology.