�� ݱ17 Jul 90��_ROR_-_ALUCARD_��? ް �SHROOM11.DOC � A ް � � ?ް � The Adventures of Harry the Milkman A ��߰ � -and- Tfile ް � Humpidy Earl Jr.'s Malicious Terrorist Mob Distribution ް �� Centere ް �? � Written by: Doctor Murdock - RoR - ް � A �_____________________________________________________________________ް � ?� Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.��ް ��ް ��The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/236/2371��The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380�� Primary Drop Sites��Rat Head - 415/524/3649��Primary Drop Sites�� 0______o /\_ _/\ :(,)\/(,): \ :: / \""""""/ '''''' I left a six /\ pack here. \/ : /\_/\ . <-/ \/-\/ . . \=======================> Quaff at SkankLord's! . . ... ~ . . _ ..... ~~~~~~~ . ror . {:} . ~ ............:. . . (zDOVxMYuEuLw~ufOUTrN) <----, . \ OH NO, IT"S DAVIDS ZOO! I was tossed to the moon one night and I saw the man......... . ........................................................... . . with the oval shaped head, mam. Yes, sir. Out there in the black void just hopping around on stars like a milkman running through a field of spiders. What? Yes, a milkman. Yes...a milkman running through a field of spiders. That's right. But....uh...not just ANY milkman of course! This is Harry. The very ~special~ milkman. He delivers special goods. In fact this particular milkman, Harry, is in fact the center point of the Universe. Universe? Yep, Universe. That's why we call him Harry the Milkman, aka: Snarfle Bob Harry the Nucleus of Thee Everlasting Cosmos!! Yes, Sir. But that;s not ALL we call him. We call him shithead and oakie-bob dunfrey too. So anyway, as I was saying, Harry and his wife Buck tooth Hilbilly Whore were out shopping for a new form of birth control when {.,msndsnfkn3489r9243jrfnvc34nrwek sadjh8u4893ryfh398f }!!! Huh? What? "You said that Harry was the Center of the Universe. Are you going to explain yourself?" Uh...oh yeah, I forgot. Ok...so as I was saying....Harry the milkman delivers those ~special~ gifts. Bombs, Tarantulas, cyanide milk bottles, milk cartons with booby traps that fling darts into the victims throat and then run air pumps (two mega-flex miniaturized nuclear reactors installed inside each dart powers these air pumps) to siphon all of the air out of the victims throats, thereby causing the victim to implode into it's own mass. Quite an Unattractive way to go if I might add. I've actually seen people survive these implosions. Yes, sir. One morning this old man got imploded to all hell. And when they found him later that afternoon he was still talking. Chanting the Omnibot 2000 (we presume that this man feared for his life and was trying to get a little extra brown noising in before he met his makers, the Fossil Pigs. This man, in his ensuing life was a piece of damaged fetus that oozed out of a pregnant sea prawns genitalia, fell to the oceans floor and soon after was disintegrated by the tide current, thereby living a total time existence of 2 1/2 minutes. And the existence after that was evening more degrading!! They say that after awhile these short term factual experiences can lead to a very severe case of schizophrenia. Studies show. So anyway, the moral of this short side drift is: Never kiss ass to the Fossil Pigs!! They really HATE that! In fact, die with a little guts! Try and punch one of them in the nose next time you croak! "Ummmmm, as you were saying...." Oh yeah! Umm...what WAS I saying? "Ahem......the MILKMAN!!!!~ OH YEAH!!! Well, as I was saying.....Harry delivered ~special~ gifts. And one day he was delivering a special maltauv cocktail milk "grenade" bottle to Mrs. Twatrot on 32nd St. And her 15 year old son, Humpidy Earl Jr, was up early that day to go out and hunt little possum with his dawg Winger the Snazzle Hoof. So, of course, Humpidy Earl had his .22 all primed and ready to go! 'Ol Harry came walking up to the house with his flaming milk bottle crouched in his right hand and ready to be tossed. Little Humpidy Earl soon got wise and drew up a barricade. 'Ol Harry tossed the milk bottle into the front window. Humpidy quickly got the fire extinguisher and sprayed off all furniture that was covered with the fiery milk. Then he quickly grabbed his .22, hit the front window and sent a barrage of lead to the Beelzebubic Milkman. The wall of lead that hit Harry was so strong that he was thrown into the street and feel into the sewer. Meanwhile Humpidy acquired quite a case of paranoia and dread towards all milkmen. A year after the so called ~Milkman Murder~, Humpidy Earl Jr. was admitted to the Youth Psychiatric Facility in Napa State County, Ca, for the eledged murder of over 1200 Milkmen. Accused of seeming carefully planning out and executing each murder and then printing " LALALA, I STRIKE AGAIN, YOU KNOBS!! - HUMPITY" on the mirror in each room the crime was committed. So it was only a matter of time. During his stay of over 3 years, Humpidy learned the true meaning of Voltage and Crotch Support. But Harry didn't really die. Of course you knew that though, right? Harry was shot into the gutter and fell into the sewers (this can actually happen. Have you ever seen the sewers in Richmond?? A 5 year old child can easily crawl right into one and have a field day down there. And Isabeau knows what they look like in New York!). He floated down about 3 miles and then drained out into the ocean, in the middle of a top secret Government project on Pineal Gland Implosion. He ended up deflecting a laser beam that shot a 15 year old kid named Hippity Bob Jr., who in his fall pulled the trigger of his .22 and hit a bird 2 miles up in the air. The bird, in his fall hit the windshield of a private jet, cracked the windshield and stuck the pilot in his jugular vein, thereby killing him within minutes. The private jet fell to earth, and in his fall it landed on a resteraunt called Blueberries, which exploded and in turn set of a larger explosion from a nearby Toys-R-Us. The Toys-R-Us explosion shot shrapnel into the eye of an Army General who was in the middle of an intersection on his way to a top secret government laser test. Who in turned rammed his car into a Dominoes Pizza delivery truck, who just happend to be carrying a thermo-nuclear device for organization H.T.G.A.M. : Humpidy's Terrorist Group Against Milkmen, which in turn destroyed the entire area code in a sinuous tower of flaming lava and radioactive fire. And thereby creating panic in the White House, who thought it was a Soviet attack. Who soon after started arguing with the Cremlin, and within 23 1/4 hours the U.S. was positive the Soviets sent the missile and fired it's whole arsenal into Russia. The Soviets never fired a shot. But the nuclear explosion in the U.S.S.R. sent a violent surge wave into the earth, which came up in the center of the U.S., causing earthquakes all over the nation in eccess of 18.9 on the ricter scale. Destroying both parties. And after the combination of both sides full agglomeration of weapons being triggered and the destruction of the Earth, and all but one of the human species............Harry sat on a rock and ate the rest of his bologna sandwich...................... So NOW ya know! <------ O N W A R D ------> Welcome, friend. You have been chosen by Alice to read the tomb. Here is the result of many experiments, some gone astray, others have created master works of art. d. You have been chosen by Alice to read the tomb. Here is the result of many experiments, some gone astray, others have created master works of art.