Its another file by those gods of water color: �����Ŀ ���Ŀ �����Ŀ �Ŀ �Ŀ � ����� �� �� � ����� � � � � � �Ŀ � � � ���Ŀ � ��� � � ��� � � ���Ŀ � � �Ŀ � � � �� �� ����� � � � � � ��� ����� ������� ��� ��� For all your phun stuff... Once again the F.I.S.H. Gang turns out another file for your reading pleasure. The topic is:  How to trash your local Supermarket  By Punk Rock Girl Hugh Ida the psychic Whore Stone Every small town has a super market that is painted a most hideous color and looks like a time traveler from the 60's. Lets wipe it out! Here are a few things you can do: 1. There is always a place for them to dump the thick used grease from the deli ( assuming it has one ). Look out back and search for a big barrel. The lid will come off easily and you can dump it all over the parking lot or steal it. A big barrel full of thick runny lard can do wonders in the fountain at city hall or all over your 'friends' front porch. 2. They regularly chuck the old rotten dairy products into the large dumpster near the grease barrel. I have found that a swollen container of sour cream explodes on contact with any wall or other hard surface. In addition to this treasure trove of rotten cottage cheese and sourcream can be found cartons of things like milk and orange juice. They are grossly swollen due to the decomposing slime inside them. I like to take as many as i can into the back of Stone's truck and hurl them out of the back at high speeds. They explode and leave nice sticky smelly spots when throw hard enough. 3. The truly lucky people will find that there is a window in the store someplace and they can get in this way. How? Well most old stores don't have the $ or the time to install new windows for security so just break it! Put duct tape in a big square on the window. Now get a sledge hammer and smash it! The tape will hold the glass up so it doesn't go SMASH! and crash to the floor alerting the security guard. There is always a night man there so look out for him. He is just a store clerk who sticks the shelves but he can call the cops and often does. The best thing to get rid of him is to go up to the front of the store and bang on the doors as hard as you can until he comes up there. Then tell him that you have to use the phone cause you just saw a guy laying in a pool of blood. Adults always fall for this shit. While he is busy handling that the other guys can sneak in the back and get into the walking cooler for all the beer you could ever want. Be sure to plan a REALLY good story for the stupid night man before you go and be sure to throw rocks through his car windows before you leave. 4. Stores are messy. They leave opened food all over the back and you could easily breed mice in this nice environment. SO DO IT! Walk into the store with a bag full of mice. Say you need to use the potty and go back and throw the bag on top of the walk-in coolers or up in the rafters. The mice will chew their way out in about 2 minutes and take over the place. 5. Count the cars in the parking lot. Now go into the store and make sure you see 1 person per car you counted. Late at night there is only the employees so this is easy. Make sure you see the people up front. If there is one car un-accounted for then ASSUME it belongs to the FAKE SHOPPER who will arrest you for anything. Use the potty excuse to get into the back. There is hardly anybody there late at night, like 10 minutes before they close. Look around and remember where everything is. Then come back at the same time on the same day next week. Go into the back and put just about everything you can by the big delivery doors in the back ( there will be a semi parked here once a week during deliveries ). Now put some garbage on top of it or something so they cant see it. Most people are too lazy to see what it is let alone put it all back. That night silently creep up to the doors. Most old doors slide up about 3-4 inches before the latch stops them. If you are good you can reach in and pick the lock but there is still the night man. Just pull all the stuff under the door and run. SILENCE IS THE KEY 6. Prank call the store all the time. It makes them have to say the stupid " Raleys Market thank you for calling, this is BUCK how can i help you today? " You: Well BUCK i am looking for meat. Raw bloody meat. BUCK: Umm... We have all kinds in our meat department. You: I don't want that kind. I want human meat. I want to lick it and sodomize it and shove it up my butt. BUCK: call back BUCK: "Raleys...etc. " You ( sounding like a woman ): I am having my period and i'm just bleeding like a fucking stuck pig. Do you have those big tampons that i can shove in and stop it? BUCK:  CALL BACK  Be creative. They have to run all the way across the store to get the phone. Especially if you call at 5:00 on a Friday when they are totally swamped. 7. Get a syringe and fill it with glue. Shoot it into everything they have. PRODUCE is the best. I like to stick it in milk too. If you are good you can make it look like your just picking up the milk to look at the expiration date when you inject Elmers glue into it. GLUE TASTES LIKE PEE! If you inject water into the bread it will mold on the shelves. 8. Beware the fake shopper. For he is mean and can be deceitful. Look for those windows that are all black. AVOID THEM. Mr. Fake looks for people who come into the market and go straight to something. Most people look around a bit. Don't keeps looking over your shoulder all the time. Smile. Say hi to all the zombies in the store. Look for a guy who is always talking to the employees but is not wearing a uniform. MOST OF ALL don't think because you discovered who it is that he is the only one they have. Fake shoppers also carry one item around the store for about 5 hours and they NEVER leave. Look at all the people in the store and then watch who comes out. If he/she/it catches you your screwed. 9. Disassemble the stupid horse/mary-go-round out front. 10. They trim the rotten stuff off the produce. What do they do with it? They usually save it for some fat guy who picks it up and feeds it to his animals. Call in and say " Hi. Can i speak to the produce manager? "( he answers) "Hi My name is Jed and i was wondering if i could have the produce yall don't use down there. You know the trimmins and stuff. I got me some pigs to feed." If he says no then have a friends call back the next day and ask if he can have SOME of the old produce for a project he is doing on rotting fruit for his biology class. Pick out the sickest things like old cantaloupe and bananas. Use them wisely to decorate a house or object of the city government. 11. Some stores have all the registers networked. They use those little radio network things that connect back to the main computer someplace in an office which is conveniently hidden from you ( usually ). Build a radio jammer and stash it in your coat. Hang around the office a lot. 12. Utterly deface the barcodes of all that you purchase. Doing a price check for everything is SUCH a pain. You can even photo copy your own and glue it over the stores. I like to make everything ring up as beer. 13. Deliver a roadkill to them at night. Just put it in a box and leave it by the door. There are so many things you can do in a super market it is scary. Try the potty excuse and look around. ���������������������������������������������������������Ŀ � ���Ŀ � � ��Ŀ � � ��� � � ��Ŀ ��Ŀ ��Ŀ � � � ��Ĵ �� ӷ�� � � � ��Ĵ � Ŀ �� � � � � � ���� �� ��� ���� ���� � � ���� ���� � � (916) 244-3569 � � Sysops: � � For All The F.I.S.H. files FIRST! Punk Rock Girl � � & � �Great original doors! Goatlord � ����������������������������������������������������������� Disclaimer: Don't do it! No, stop! its only information! It wasn't meant to be actually done! I swear i wont take the blame if you do this!!