From G.A.Roeves@newcastle.ac.uk Sun Jun  4 08:41:42 1989
Subject: Divers Alarums


The Programmer's Prayer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEGIN
{Main program: Calls procedures for Divine Saving Algorithm}

REPEAT

  Our OS, who art in CPU, UNIX be thy name.
    Thy programs run, Thy syscalls done,
      In kernal as they are in user.

  Give us this time-slice our processor allocation,
    And forgive us our hacking,
      As we forgive those who hack against us.

  Lead us not into /dev,
    And deliver us from viruses:
      For thyne is the /root, the I*SQR(R),
       and the up-time.

UNTIL FALSE;

$logout



     I  was  thinking  about  the  ``as  much  use as'' stuff too, and
remembered the following -- which are similar:

``Up and down like the Asyrian Empire''
         -- Monty Python, Life of Brian

``Flat  as  a  witch's  tit''
-- Austrailian Saying (used to describe beer)

``About  as  comfortable as a member of the Animal Liberation Front at
an owl stabbing party''
                                         -- (Punch Magazine, years ago)



Hope these are of suitable ``quality''. Anyone else got any???



----------------------------------------------------------------------
...He  [the  Patrician  of  Ankh-Morpork] did of course sometimes have
people horribly tortured to death,  but  this  was  considered  to  be
perfectly  acceptable  behaviour  for  a  civic  ruler  and  generally
approved  of  by  the  overwhelming   majority   of   citizens.   (The
overwhelming  majority  of  citizens  being  defined  in this case, as
everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpian pit.)...
                                           --Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
----------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally the rude joke...
It isn't "rotted" so just skip over it if you are the sensitive type:

A  man  walks into a jewlers, unzips his trousers, and places his tool
upon the counter.
The  lady  serving  says,  "I'm sorry sir, this is a clock shop, not a
cock shop."
"Well, put two hands on this," replies the man.



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