From ajs@hpfcajs.UUCP Wed Apr 12 16:31:05 1989
From: ajs@hpfcajs.UUCP
Subject: place.1
Reply-Path: rutgers!hplabs.hp.com!hpfcla!hpfcajs!ajs


	Written by Alan Silverstein, Hewlett Packard, circa 1983:


	PLACE(1)		Parody Systems			PLACE(1)


	NAME
	    place - print and set the system location

	SYNOPSIS
	    place [ [-v] [-]ddmmss[-]dddmmss ] [ +format ]

	DESCRIPTION
	    If no  argument  is given, or if the  argument  begins  with
	    ``+'', the current  location  (latitude and  longitude)  are
	    printed.  Otherwise,   the   current   location  is  set  by
	    teleporting  the  system.  The  first dd is the  degrees  of
	    latitude   (negative  for  south);  mm  is  the  minutes  of
	    latitude;  ss is the seconds of latitude.  The second ddd is
	    the  degrees of  longitude  (negative  for west); and so on.
	    For example:

		place 385100-1050300

	    sets the  location  of the system to the top of Pikes  Peak,
	    Colorado.  The correct  altitude is  automatically  provided
	    and  cannot  be  specified.  The  system  operates  in feet.
	    Place  takes  care  of  the  conversion  to and  from  local
	    standard measurement units.

	    When a new  location  is set, all  logged-in  terminals  and
	    users  are   transported   along   with  all  other   system
	    peripherals.

	    If the -v (verbose)  option is specified when a new location
	    is set, place prints a running  description of the locations
	    the system passes through enroute to the given  destination.
	    Note that this can slow down  transport  time  considerably,
	    from  instantaneous  to  however  long it takes to print the
	    description   to  standard   output.  This   option  is  not
	    recommended  if stdout is a terminal  connected at less than
	    4800  baud,  since  hitting   BREAK  can  leave  the  system
	    stranded.

	    Attempting to set the place off-planet  generates a warning,
	    and requires an extra confirmation from the (super)user.

	    If the  argument  begins  with ``+'', the output of place is
	    under the control of the user.  The format for the output is
	    similar to that of  date(1).  All  output  fields  which use
	    hours,  minutes,  or  seconds  are  applicable   (substitute
	    "degrees" for hours, where appropriate).

	    Place writes an accounting record on the file /usr/adm/wtmp.

	DIAGNOSTICS
	    No permission   If you aren't the super-user  and you try to
			    move the system.

	    bad conversion  If the place set is syntactically incorrect,
			    or below sea level.

	    bad format character
			    If the field descriptor is not recognizable.

	FILES
	    /dev/kmem
	    /usr/adm/wtmp
	    /usr/lib/altitudes

	AUTHOR
	    Alan Silverstein, Hewlett-Packard

	SEE ALSO
	    date(1), whereami(1)

	BUGS
	    If there is not a supply of compatible electric power at the
	    new  location,  the  system  usually  crashes  before  place
	    finishes writing accounting information to /usr/adm/wtmp.

	    This  command  should not be used on systems  connected to a
	    Local Area Network, for obvious reasons.

--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  I will reply, mailers willing.
If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke
because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.