Jack ZengerJoseph Folkman
January 05, 2016
Why do some people react so defensively to critical feedback, while others take
it on the chin?
To help us answer this question, over the last year we ve gathered data on how
people react to feedback. We called the defensive tendency proving (as in,
having something to prove) and the accepting tendency improving (as in, being
willing to admit improvement was needed). These definitions are close to,
though not exactly the same as, the fixed and growth mindsets discovered by
Stanford professor Carol Dweck.
People with a growth mindset tend to focus on improving, learning, and effort;
while folks with a fixed mindset assume that our abilities are based more on
inborn talents and traits and unlikely to change. The former seek out
challenging situations and welcome feedback, including criticism. The latter
strive to prove themselves to others, using their existing skills. They tend to
avoid feedback and criticism, and usually select tasks at which they can look
good and succeed.
We examined roughly 7,000 self-assessments, and focused on a group of questions
that measured a proving versus improving orientation. For instance, we
asked people what happened the last time they were given negative feedback
did they challenge it, or listen openly? Did they take it personally or not?
When a close friend gave them corrective feedback, did they question its
validity, or accept that it was probably true? How did they think their
coworkers would describe them as resistant to corrective feedback, or open to
it?
We designed the assessment as a self-assessment for personal development, in an
effort to minimize the motivation to look good to others that is usually
found in a proving mentality. We found that 8.3% of respondents had a strong
proving orientation, 8.4% were divided in their orientation, and 83% had an
improving orientation.
The results may have been somewhat lopsided; after all, respondents were by
definition people interested in their personal development. Therefore it s not
surprising that the majority had an improving orientation. And of course,
this was a self-assessment let s face it, most of us like to think that we
respond graciously and objectively to all kinds of feedback. (For reference, in
Dweck s original research with young children, she found that 40% had a fixed
mindset, 40% had a growth mindset, and 20% were undecided.)
You and Your Team
Improving Yourself
Take charge of your own development.
Still, the data was robust enough to help us identify three factors that
influenced respondents mindsets:
Age. As we age, there is a gradual evolution of a proving mindset into an
improving mindset. The following graph shows changes over time. This may be
because as we age, we simply become more self-aware and it may also have
something to do with confidence, which was the second major factor we
uncovered.
W151228_ZENGER_OLDERWEGET
Self-Confidence. There is a fascinating and slightly complex relationship
between self-confidence and an improving mindset. The chart below describes
what happens to self-confidence as people get older. Note that males show
improving self-confidence up until their early 40s, experience a mid-life dip,
then experience rising confidence again until their mid-50s. At that point,
their confidence tends to decline. Women, on the other hand, start out less
confident, but show steady increases from their mid-20s until their mid- 60s,
ending up more confident than the men.
W151228_ZENGER_WEALLGET
Often when people are resistant to and defensive about feedback, they seek to
convince others that they are highly confident individuals. Our results told a
different story: in fact, people who are very resistant to feedback may lack
confidence. (Of course, this is a tendency we found, not an absolute rule; we
can no doubt all think of examples of highly confident individuals who also get
defensive. And there s a lot of academic research that supports the argument
that too much confidence has all kinds of negative effects.) In the graph
below, the negative numbers show an orientation toward proving and the
positive number toward improving. The best predictor we could find of people
having an orientation toward proving was their lack of confidence. Those who
scored highest on our confidence percentile were more likely to have an
improvement mindset.
W151228_ZENGER_HEALTHYSELF
Some of these less confident people may even suffer from impostor syndrome
the fear that they don t really belong in their role, and they ll ultimately be
discovered and fail. Admitting that critics may have a point doesn t just
threaten their self-view, but their career success. If I am not smart or
capable there is nothing I can do about it, they seem to believe, I will
ultimately be discovered and then I will fail. The only option is
defensiveness.
Gender: We also found that women are more likely to have a proving mindset
than men are, especially early in their careers. There are a few possible
reasons for this. For instance, women are socialized to be less confident,
whereas men are socialized to be overconfident. Many women are also subjected
to what Joan C. Williams has termed Prove-It-Again bias, in which their
competence is constantly (and unfairly) questioned.
Fortunately, we also found that women shift to an improving mindset as they
age. Older men are also more likely to have an improving mindset than younger
men, although the change is not as extreme. By their early 60s, women are more
likely to have an improving mindset than their male peers.
Shifting to an Improving Mindset
Based on overwhelming research in the social sciences, we know that it is
easier to change a person s behavior than to change their attitudes. And
mindset whether proving or improving is most certainly a complex set of
attitudes. We recommend that anyone wanting to move toward a growth or
improving mindset begin by asking for feedback from colleagues. Start with
small doses and gradually increase the amount and frequency of the feedback you
are willing to hear. You will learn that the information you gain is
beneficial, and your willingness to ask will elevate you in the eyes of others.
Managers can also help subordinates move from a fixed mindset to a growth
orientation by thoughtfully providing the right kind of feedback. Instead of
praising raw talent and intelligence, is far better to recognizing and praise
hard work, tenacity, and resilience. For example, instead of saying Your TPS
report is brilliant, say something like, Thanks for working so hard on that
TPS report; your effort really paid off. Such feedback has the dual effect of
shaping the individual s mindset as well as instilling within them greater
feelings of confidence which ought to make it easier for them to accept
critical feedback from time to time.
We strongly agree with Carol Dweck. A growth mindset is the foundation for any
successful personal development process. Our evidence suggests that people can
change, but in order to do so must stop proving and start looking for ways to
improve.
Career success is driven by a person s ability to constantly learn and adapt to
a changing world. Doing so takes the right mindset.
Jack Zenger is the CEO of Zenger/Folkman, a leadership development consultancy.
He is a co-author of the October 2011 HBR article Making Yourself
Indispensable.Connect with Jack at twitter.com/jhzenger.
Joseph Folkman is the president of Zenger/Folkman, a leadership development
consultancy. He is a co-author of the October 2011 HBR article Making Yourself
Indispensable. Connect with Joe at twitter.com/joefolkman.