1. 6 weeks on a ventilator with COVID, followed by long-term 40% reduced fitness for 18 months but open freedom, or no disease but 2 more years of hard lockdown? Why?

Two more years of hard lockdown. I have reading to do, books to rehome (anyone want my husband's CDs and paperback collection?), skills to cultivate. Also, I'm a miracle in my family: over fifty with no cancer!

Incredible! Cancer can be caused by a virus. CoViD-19 in your scenario suggests Vitamin D3 deficiency, and if the monocytes, lymphocytes, basophils, natural killer cells, eosinophils, other parts of the immune system are too damaged or sparse to get their act together without Vitamin D3, don't expect the usual length of recovery time when the first symptoms of a cold or flu virus occur. Go shop for 'final arrangements.'

2. US to engage China over a Taiwan invasion, or US to engage Russia over a Ukraine invasion.

I'm supposed to take the Russia option, as where my maternal line came from is now Ukraine. China's gonna get slaughtered by Team Canada in Men's Olympic hockey anyway. Three goals from Canada in the first three minutes then satellite transmission broadcast will suddenly fail.

3. Trump as US President again for 1 term, or Mike Pence for 2 terms

I expect zero sympathy from USans, but their voting actions (electoral college, insecure voting machines) in 2016 is exactly why I left the US after 23 years, and I am happier and at peace where I am. Is everything better there now because a danged immigrant went back where she came from? Mike Pence for two terms. I'm not marrying any American to rescue them, though. Not unless they max out the GoFundMe for my husband's medical expenses.

4. A year of Saturday dinners at your country's best restaurants, or a 3-day weekend of mind-blowingly fantastic sex with your biggest crush.

This is tough. Do you know, no Canadian restaurants are rated above three stars in the Michelin Guide? If I lived in the US or Japan this'd be an easy choice. I'll take the three-day weekend of mind-blowingly fantastic sex with my biggest crush.

5. Work 3 8-hour days a week, retire at 50 but die at 70, or work 6 8-hour days a week, retire at 70, but live to 85

Option 5. I'm living the dream.