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� ��     � ����� ����� �                                                      �
� � ��   � �   � ����� �          Vaginal and Anal Secretions Digest          �
� ��� �� � �����     � �         Issue #91 - Released: August 21, 1993        �
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�                           Burn-0ut Rebellion 93                             �
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� Author: The Pyschotic Pyrotic       � Official Size: 8,279 Bytes            �
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    What the fuck are you doing? You have to pass our /</</<-kool quiz to make
 sure you are a goddamned burnout. Don't take this if you do not listen to 
 metal.
    
   What is the best metal band in the world? 
   
     1. Slayer, Misfits, Danzig, *-Death, etc..
     2. GWAR, Ministry
     3. White Zombie, Manowar, Pantera
     4. Megadeath, Metallica
     5. Guns and Roses, Queen
    
   How much do you pay for your flannels? 
     
     1. under $5
     2. between $5-10
     3. between $11-15
     4. between $16-19
     5. $20 and over

   What Shoes do you were?

     1. Carolina Steel-toes, Jungle boots, othe combat boots
     2. Converse, Cheap shoes
     3. Hiking boots
     4. Hiking shoes
     5. NiKe's

  3 and under- You are the real burnout and death incarnate. Whoever fucks 
  with you dies. 
    
  4-6 - You are a burn-out  
  
  7-9 - Your halfway there
  
  10-12 - You are a lameass mother fucker who deserves to die. You are pissin
  your pants right now because you discovered your not a burn-out. Go and 
  masturbate looking at naked pictures of your mom. Read on and listen to us
  rip the hell out of you.

  13+ - You don't even know what metal is. You spend most of your time having
  some black guy ram his dick up your ass and acting cool. Well, your not. You
  look up to wiggers. 
    
    
    Well, as most of you in High School know that there has been a large 
 growth in posers during last year. Yep, I have seen tons of them. There all
 Preps/wiggers or ex- preps/wiggers. It appears we are becoming there next 
 "Fad". Are you guys out there going to do anything? I mean it sortof just
 pisses me off when i see Preps in Designer Cross Colour Flannels and wiggers
 with chain wallets. These people will always say there favorite groups are
 Metallica, Megadeath and Guns and Posers. Nice fucking life. There have also
 been 20+ new flannel companys that charge over 20 bux each. Who the fuck 
 would spend that much on a flannel. Yep our old freind, the prep. Shit, i 
 have gone through the mall a few times and everyone i saw with a flannel 
 walked in and out of Attivo and other prep shops. They all had pistons or 
 Nike shirts on. 

    There was a fat bitch who sat next to me in 1rst hour last year. Me and to
 other people in back of me would always be ripping on her for being such a 
 fucking poser. She would always wear a flouresent(Yeah, real flannel there)
 flannel halfway buttoned up, with some small cheap hiking shoes. Ok, here is
 a conversation we had sometime.

 TPP- What the fuck is this flouresent flannel bullshit?

 Bitch- This flannel is cool. Stinky boots! 

 Note- I just got a pair of new Jungle Boots at the time, and that nasty 
 rubber smell was said to fill up the entire classroom. Only preps seemed to
 smell it though.

 TPP- Yeah IOU is so /</</<-/<o0l. Yeah i bet you like new metallica too.

 Bitch- Yeah, i listen to Metallica and Megadeth

 Nick(kid who sits behind me)- Poser Metal!

 Everyone in the area- hheheheheehehh

    There is this other guy who is a COMPLETE TOTAL poser. He is the biggest
 fucking pussy. He challenged some guy to a fight and used Mace. Fucking wimp
 pussy motherfucker. This fucker pretends he is stoned half the time. I have
 seen him and 5 of his prep freinds at the bridge pretending to smoke. Never
 inhaling, just sticking the cig in there mouths and pulling it out. Half the
 time, the cigerettes weren't even lit. Nice Fucking life. And on top of that,
 he's got a luke perry haircut with those sideburns so he can be a total rebel
 , now. 

  Well, we cannot let this happen. These assholes are ruining every fucking
  thing we stand for. Rip any unautorized flannels off and rip any poser 
  wallet-chain off. What the fuck are they going to do, there pussys. We must
  find ways to use these people to further chaos. Here is...

         Phun with Posers

  1. So, you got some poser in your school who acts like he is stoned all the
  time. Well get some oak leaves and sell it to him as marijuana or put a dot
  of rubber cement or glue or somethin on a peice of paper, and sell it as 
  acid. It's not like he is actually going to use it, just act cool and show 
  it to his freinds. And you get Cash Cash Cash for nothing. And what could 
  you ever get busted for? Selling glue and leaves?

  2. Card shit to There address. 

  3. Write one of your reports on how Metallica sucks. Make sure it is in a 
  class filled with posers. hehe They started calling me a churchboy...  

  4. Lock them up in the basement and see if there flannels glow in the dark.

  5. Go into there can with your beige box, and tape there phone calls. 
  Perfect Blackmail shit. For instance, i heard some poser chick talk about
  how she was having a seance on Acid and her refridgerater started talking 
  to her and her teddy bear chased them with a knife. And then some call to a
  burnout at my school that she says she is friends with. He ripped on her for
  about a half an hour.

  6. Napalm them. 

  7. Take him to a docter appointment. When there check off "Neuter" on his 
  form, while he isn't looking. Hey what does he need a dick for, he's a hand
  lotion and palm jelly boy. Imagine his surprise when he wakes up. 

  8. Sell him naked pictures of his mom for masturbation aids.

  9. Get invited overnight to there house and raid the place. Don't make it 
  look obvious, don't brake anything. Just take what they got. Most of the
  posers are rich preps, so they should have lots of stuff. Burn all there 
  flannels and prep clothes.

  10. Take them down to someplace like Garden City and see how long it takes
  for them to be beaten to a bloody pulp. 

  11. Get like 5-10 of your freinds, and go to the mall. Hang out in those 
  prep stores like Mary go Round and Attivo. Scare the shit out of everyone
  there. Tell me if one of those commisioned annoying salespeople comes up to
  your group and asks what you want to buy. Always talk about Slayer, Satan, 
  Skinheads, how rap sucks really loudly. So everyone will avoid you. If the
  mall cops try to do anything, sue the fuckers. 

  12. When you get a new pair of boots, wear them all the time. The Smell that  
  is supposedly there annoys the shit out of preps. They spent all hour 
  complaining about it. 
    
    Well thats all for this issue..  Phreak the World!

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