���� � � ��� ��������������������������������������������������������� � � � � � � � Issue Number 11, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1 � ���� � � � � � Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993. � � � � � � � PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! � � ���� ��� � For help and actual info, look elsewhere. � ������������������������������������������������������������������������ �۲����� �������� ������ ���� �������� ���� �����۲�� ۲����� ����� ���� �� ����� �� ������� ۱���� �� ��� ��� � ����� ۱�� � � � ���� ۱� ��� ۰� "Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg..." � � ۰ -Led Zepplin � ۰ � � � � � � � Mail � � � � Fuck it. I am sick of including this section, besides there is � � no mail yet. Woopidty. � � � � � The Anatomy of a Krystal. � � � � The krystal is by far the strangest life form on this planet. � � Known to most people, the krystal, called sliders in the wild, are � � the most ferocious and vile mammals to roam the sewers of Beverly � � Hills (90210). They are also quite common in the heights section � � of melrose place and by 1996 they are expected to graduate into � � the most dominant species in all of lower Florida. � � � � Cut-Away of a Krystal Cut-Away of a Slider � � � � bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN � � bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb � � ooooooooooooooooo -ONION mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL � � mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS � � MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS oooooooooooooooooo -ONION � � bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb � � bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN � � � � Note the extreme genetic differences in the two species. The � � more docile Krystal has the chewy chocalety candy shell on top of � � it's brains. Where as the much more aggresive Slider has the chewy � � chocalety shell on top of it's brains. Notice, by the extreme � � detail of the cut-away's the differences in the sex organs in the � � two species. See how much more enlarged the ovaries of the Slider � � are than that of the Krystal. Legend has it that on the third � � saturday of every month Sliders for some unknown reason take to � � commiting mass genocide by rudely casting themselves at country � � tour buses full of fat women. Note that this is strangly like that � � H0T nEw WaReZ in huntsvegas, Pc Lemmings. � � � � � How to steal a toaster. � � � � By: The BRaVE LItTlE TOaStER � � � � Theft of toasters can be a very worth while and profitable � � occupation. But be forewarned toaster theft is extremely � � dangerous, what with large of rash of mysterious taster thief � � slayings. These slayings are rumored to be by a one fReD tHe � � tOaStEr iS mInE SmItH. He is currently on the SPA top ten hit � � list and is wanted for questioning in 62 states. Anyway I digress � � let me get back to the TFiLE. To begin with you must make sure � � have a valid and great plan. The planning stage is by far the most � � important part of the whole process. � � Part 1, the plan. Making you plan is the key to your toaster � � thievary success. Make sure you have a place to steal a toaster � � from. Next make sure you have a get-away vehicle, a 747 would be � � suitable. Last make sure you have plent of weapons, machine guns � � are not suitable for toaster thievary, but various anti-aircraft � � weapons will be. � � Part 2, the Execution. Now here is where you kill all your � � accomplises. � � Part 3, Stealing the Toaster. To steal the toaster simply walk � � in, carefully concealing your anti-aircraft weaponry under your � � arm. If anyone notices, kill them instantly, but quitely. The key � � to stealing a good toaster is avoiding ones with flowerdy prints, � � as they are usually cheap and just don't cook your toast right. � � Hide the toaster in the crotch of your pants and walk out the � � store. � � Part 4, The get away. The second you leave the store you must � � quickly turn and destroy it, cover your tracks! Next take any � � suitable vehicle in the parking lot and head for your plane. Be � � sure to destroy all oncoming traffic as you near the airport, no � � use in leaving any witnesses alive. When at the airport pick 3 or � � 4 attractive stewardesses and maim them seriously. Why? Just for � � fun of it. Now board your plane and fly away. The end. � � Look for more articles on toaster professions from me, soon. � � � � � Closing. � � � � Did I mention, you still fucking suck. � � � � � Mail! � � � � Keep your sorry-attempts at mail coming! � � Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14 � � NO COURiER WWIVNET 2506@36 � � � ۰ �� ۰ � � � ��� ۱� �� �� � �� ���� ۱�� ����� ���� �� ���� ������ ۲���� ������� ������� ���� ������ �������� ������������������������������������������������������������������������ � End of PUD 1:11, "...and shake it all about..." � ������������������������������������������������������������������������