I was on a channel on IRC and excitedly told about gemini project and asked if anyone would like to read my gemlog - someone answered me who asked "what the hell is a gemlog?" So I gave a link to the gemini project and then it started going crazy – that asshole one told me "it's a darknet and the only people who use it are pedophiles and drug dealers" he also mocked me "maybe you are too? Or maybe Russian? Give us a link to your gemlog so we can praise your glorious blog! ” I left insulted and upset to the bone.
After that, I checked other blogs here on gemlog.blue and saw how there are people who abuse their gemini protocol and their gemlog for all sorts of dubious reasons.
What am I trying to say? People have already lost their innocence on the web and with all the shit that has been going on there for 20 years or more so now when you give them an internet protocol with privacy and lightness and less heavy than the web they are not excited about it - they do not care about the web junk and lack of privacy there - because The worst thing that the web has caused everyone is the think that if you want privacy and safety and a lack of surveillance on the internet it automatically means you are a criminal or a sex pervert or a hacker - as if "you have something to hide! You have dark secrets!".
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And I who in my innocence thought that someone would care enough to read my gemlog I discovered the obvious - no one cares about you neither on the web nor in gemini nor on the internet at all - I could have started a small blog in wordpress and post there about myself and my world in Hebrew and maybe gain exposure in google but the truth is I do not want it - why? Because my truth no one wants to hear it - I who see myself as a survivor or victim of psychiatry as a survivor of abuse I live under the stigma of "mental illness" that no one wants to come near me and my whole life is through the computer and the Internet I'm that I have no social life in the real world and that I don’t interest anyone neither online nor in real life -
So no one will read my gemlog - it will not appear in Google's search engine and will not have readers and yet I am writing here and uploading to my gemlog - because this is my corner on the internet away from the crowds of the web away from search engines and social media networks and all - between All those who for their own reasons want privacy and miss the Internet of the 90’s and also among all those users who take bad advantage of this -
I'm here and uploading posts about my life - and that for what’s it worth is excellent and whoever comes and reads wonderful and whoever will not - that's fine too…
Today I already know no one cares about you and no one loves you online – but that’s okay at least there are no more illusions ...